A Buc Shy of Perfect

 For anyone feeling sad this week from the Buccaneers' final-seconds loss playoff Sunday, I am too. This is for us and the Bucs. While this Hen isn't full of cackles this week, the Bucs and the fans deserve an homage to the year, even here on this silly blog.

It strings more because of how close the Bucs came to an unreal comeback win. It hurts more because after winning the Super Bowl last year, anything less than winning it again is a disappointment. It's a gut punch because in spite of unprecedented injuries and adversity all season, the team still won the most games in its history - just missing another Super Bowl win. So while every player, coach, and fan deserves to sit in sadness this week, there's also so much to look back on with pride, as it was another magical season, only without the fairy tail ending. 

I Had a Dream... and It Wasn't a Nightmare: Bucs Win!

Ahoy, coop!

I had this really weird dream that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers got to play in the Super Bowl in their own stadium, and Tom Brady was their quarterback; so they won. But 2/3 of the stadium was filled with cardboard cut-outs of people, and the real people had to cover their faces most of the time.

Oh, wait...

That allegedly happened. The dystopia of 2020 clearly hasn't stopped for 2021. In the meantime, I'll be hoarding every newspaper article, picture, and all bootleg merchandise for the rest of the year.

Shifting gears for a new year after the greatest Super Bowl in history, The Hen is here to talk about sports ball! For those of you who are pure, originalist Cackling Hen fans, don't fret: My next article will return to babbling about idiot passengers, how that former president is still flaming human garbage shit, and/or Britney. 

yay, sports!

If you missed it - The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, my favorite football team, won Super Bowl 55. While we all fought for our lives during a global pandemic, the Buccaneers decided: THIS is our year to win the Super Bowl! They lured down Tom Brady, Gronk, other talents, and one alleged felon who can catch a ball. They all gelled at the right time, won it all, and celebrated in true Tampa style: drunk on boats. So if you're wondering why I care, why you should care, or what's a Buccaneer, this article is for you!

TB = Tom Brady AND Tampa Bay (not from The Onion)

Coronavirus has changed the world in ways we've never seen. Millions of people are quarantined in their homes. Toilet paper is gone. And Tom Brady is a Buccaneer.

There has been zero sports news with zero sporting events, but for the first time in my life, I will thank Tom Brady. We'll get to the Twilight Zone part where Tom joins Tampa Bay, but first, I thank Tom Brady for making news unrelated to the global pandemic.

Everything is cancelled and people's homes are now their personal jail cells, but Tom Brady's coming still registers as an Onion article in my mind, just like a Donald Trump presidency. But after many refreshes and journalistic research, it is true and I repeat: Tom Brady is a Tampa Bay Buccaneer.

apocolypse.

Best Christmas Gifts Ever!

Merry Christmas.

I hope you all had a merry Christmas, or a very happy December 25. The spirit of the holiday season is all about giving, spending time with loved ones, and wondering why I'm still sweating and miserable in Florida in winter. As I become an older bird, I have fewer gifts under the Festivus pole each year, which is okay since I can buy things I need as an adult. Still, it's nice to receive a few thoughtful gifts to rip open on Christmas morning, and I'll share a few of my favorites from 2015.

Trying to be Thankful on Turkey Murder Day

For Thanksgiving to be truly happy, you should be eating ham. While it's a time to give thanks and be grateful, it's also a time to mourn all the senseless turkey killing. But in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'll focus on the positive and not hen murder. (There's a shocking interview exposé for that HERE.)

Some things for which I'm thankful this Thanksgiving:

Are My Room Decorations Trendy or Humiliating?

Britney demands height order.

Now that the 15 minutes of attention for "Pretty Girls" seems about over, it's time to dust off these writing wings and get clucking for my first article since getting home from my most recent Hens on Ice scholastic year. Since this is my 4th tour with the skating birds, I've already covered some juicy topics about getting off the road for a hot minute. There are big pros and cons with such a lengthy tour with the same group of crazy loons, but I did that. I found some weird stuff in my room while trying to unpack, but that's been done too (in 2 parts!). But instead of crying, retiring, and squawkingwriting about not writing. Thankfully for you, I've realized again I'm a bit more insane than I'd originally thought.
at you to just read those old articles, I'll do better than