November 17, 2021

#FREEDBRITNEY

 Britney Spears has given this Hen life once again. She's also regained her own life: Britney is FREE! I had been feeling uninspired, unfunny, and underpaid (still accepting donations), but Britney and I are back on track. I'm clawing out of a brief and mild depression, and she's clawing out of a 13-year conservatorship, where she had no control of her personal life nor her own fortune, while her own family exploited her very existence for their personal gain. We've both been through a lot.

it's been a long life.

The #FreeBritney movement seemed like just another conspiracy theory to many, but we true fans knew something was truly wrong. While I find conspiracy theories ridiculous and dangerous, I owed it to Britney to entertain just this one. As more truth, documents, and bizarre Instagram posts surfaced, followed by recent documentaries examining how bizarre and wrong Britney's situation was, our #FreeBritney suspicions were validated. Britney had finally had enough of this unjust situation, and thankfully the legal system has finally freed her. Now let's lock up her asshole father, legal system.

she's free!!

Britney's work has brought joy and entertainment to countless fans, and many of us truly appreciate and idolize her presence and what her music has meant to us over the past 20 years. As Britney recovered from her public meltdown and released her Blackout album, I was discovering and accepting my own identity. I was tired of repressing things I actually liked just to fit in with societal expectations of masculinity, so I dove into my love of Britney and her music. Her work has brought joy to millions, and even joy from pop music can help people through hard times. It warms my heart to see how her #FreeBritney fans could play a role in helping Britney out of this nightmare of a life arrangement.

free!

Now with the state of California no longer deeming this functional adult as incapacitated, we're all so eager to see what Britney will do next! While we wait, I have a few dreams and suggestions for her:

  • Write a tell-all memoir. Guaranteed New York Times best seller. This would be my most cherished book of all time. It's a Pulitzer, bitch!
  • Release new, unfiltered music. Even a spoken word album will do. I just want her to go after everyone who's wronged her, to a gay bar beat - please and thank you. 
  • Sue her father and everyone who has been profiting off of her. Kick their sorry asses back to some Louisiana trailer and get her money back! Time to buy candles!
  • Run for President. This is a country I want to live in. The last celebrity president set the bar so low, there is no bar. #Britney2028

comin for ya, jamie!


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