January 25, 2012

Flicks This Chick Missed Part I

Every rose has its thorns and every hen has its flaws. Evidently this hen clucks when it comes to being hip to the silver screen. I frequently shock other poultry when they are talking about a movie "everyone has seen" and I'm the hen who hasn't. Let me apologize for having ADD and living below the poverty line. I barely have the focus and money for a bowl of ramen noodles, let alone watch something that may or may not be good for two hours. And that tub of popcorn is half my weekly income.

January 17, 2012

Oh, Travel Day Won't Bring Me Down

Hens on Ice entertains thousands of people each week with sparkling artichoke costumes and dance moves on blades. While I'm on this tour, my friends often express jealously of my alleged glamorous life on tour (please stop calling me a bitch on my Facebook wall - my mom's on there when she can turn on the computer). While it does feel glamorous to have a day off in the French Riviera or get paid to be a sparkly artichoke, that glamor doesn't last 24/7. Aside from not speaking French and sweating under that artichoke, one of the least ritzy moments for us hens is travel day, which happens at least once a week. There is nothing snazzy about bus travel.

January 1, 2012

Happy New Spears!

2011 has flown the coup, but not without leaving plenty of stray feathers by which to remember it. A new year comes with a chance to start fresh, make changes in our lives and resolutions we won't keep after January 7. I resolve to finish this post before that date.

Every year, there are countless events throughout the world that catch us by surprise and make us ponder our own existence and the finality of life on earth. The return of Britney Spears in full force after a short hiatus clearly made the most timeless impression, because I dare you to get the chorus of "I Wanna Go" out of your head. Now I wanna go too, wherever the hell it is.