November 30, 2012

It's Britney, Bitch! 2.0

The Cackling Hen recently pecked at Christina Aguilera, and while there's still more to peck at (try a gym membership, Christina), it's time to put Britney Spears back on the pecking block. Britney has always been a favorite for The Hen, and now that she's on primetime TV with the X Factor, along with a new music video with, Britney's back on The Hen!

"So, you bring the star power and I'll bring the auto tune."
Wednesday night was a big night for Britney on the X Factor. Not only did she look sharp (thank God she ditched the turtle neck and found a hair brush since an earlier episode), X Factor also premiered her new music video with, "Scream and Shout." To be fair, it's's music video featuring Britney Spears, since her parts just consist of harmonies, talking, and mouthing her infamous 2007 line, "It's Britney, bitch." But since we lose interest in when he's not a Black Eyed Pea, Britney's presence aims to carry this video.

November 18, 2012

The Cackling Hen's Guide to Twitter

"Who are you calling a Tweeter?"

My hen friend Kim recently clucked that she didn't understand Twitter. She was asking questions like, "What's a hashtag?" and "Does my iPhone connect to the internet?" Up for the challenge to turn my school brain back on, I took Kimmie under my wing. We had a Twitter class/lunch date to peck over Twitter's uses and purpose and a big lunch. We left full and accomplished, even sending a few tweets from the table. Kimmie is no longer spelling out the word, "hashtag," and although she still says "Tweeter" sometimes, she'll be okay. Here is The Cackling Hen's Starter Guide to Twitter, inspired by Kim.

November 12, 2012

Funky Hen Down

This isn't natural 
While all us hens on ice may seem perfect on the surface, we all take a tumble from time to time during our live performances. Besides, we're only hens, right? But the falls add flavor to our show, a little spice of laughter or gasp when the audience least expects it, reminding us that no hen is perfect.

As a competing hen, I touted myself as being a consistent skater, usually saving most of my crashing and burning for practice sessions. Now as a show hen, I feel the same way. But that confidence in rarely falling during a show makes my falls that much more spectacular, since they also come with a facial reaction and or sound effect.

November 7, 2012

Big Bird for 2016

I need to vote for myself.

Last night, just over half the American people re-elected President Obama to stay in office for the next four years. While I wrote in my vote for Big Bird just below Rosanne Barr’s name, I still feel a sigh of relief that Obama is in office for birds everywhere. While Obama is no Big Bird, he at least won’t be pulling the rug out from Big Bird’s home or treating hens like second-class citizens. And with such publicity, Big Bird has a good shot for 2016.

But with Obama winning by just a slight majority, that leaves the almost-majority minority who voted for Romney, Barr or Big Bird. And with social media basically taking over most of our lives, it leaves million upon millions of Americans both unhappy and vocal online. If the months of build up weren’t bad enough – inundations of political ads and everyone on Facebook on Twitter suddenly having strong political opinions – the aftermath of the election on social media is one last tidal wave.

November 2, 2012

Walk This Way

Where's the metro?
Hens on Ice has taken me many places I never imagined I'd see, such as Paris, Cape Town and Stone Henge, to name just a few. This week I'm in another such place - Florence, South Carolina. It may not have historic landmarks or sidewalks, but it's also a place I never envisioned spending time.

We began our tour in mostly large cities, staying downtown - areas conducive to walking. Now that we have been spending weeks in smaller cities in the South, apparently no one walks in these places. The city of Florence, along with too many cities in the US, was designed assuming that everyone has a car. Why didn't anyone have carless groups of traveling show vagabonds in my mind when city planning?