In Zayn We Trust

Something important.

Once again, it's time for a huge Hen comeback! I'm aiming for more comebacks than Cher to increase my exposure and justify my common writing droughts. I have not been ignoring my faithful coup; I've just been searching for right inspiration. There is truly nothing funny about this horrid election - that onslaught of coverage has been filling every media wavelength and crushing my soul. So I had to think of other important cackling topics to peck at. My mild depression? No. My search for life meaning and a salaried job? No way. Thankfully, there is a shred of hope left in 2016: ZAYN PUBLISHED HIS OWN BOOK.

Part of my mild depression stems from the gradual dissembling of One Direction. I cried purchasing the last calendar that would feature all 5 of them together, and I still sob hearing their final single, "History." But Zayn read my dramatic 3 a.m. tweets and came to my rescue.

I Just Want a Sidewalk!

Searching for sass.

This year's Hens on Ice tour is a mixed bag of prominent North American cities and "What state is that in again?" towns. However, lots of low-expectation towns have yielded pleasant surprises, like Lincoln and Des Moines (sorry, Fresno). Arriving into Allentown, PA, I had high hopes to be on par with Lincoln, Des Moines, or at least Moline.

My first morning in town, I followed my routine of pecking around the area to find local hot spots - coffee shops, restaurants, bars, parks, bookstores with cats, or anything similar. But in lieu of being in a downtown setting, we are a stone's throw from a major highway, the local airport, and "Condoms Galore." In spite of a different setting and planes rattling my window, I was optimistic to find some local sass in Allentown. Ten feet into the journey, I gave up on local sass and just hoped for a sidewalk.

Walk This Way

Where's the metro?

Hens on Ice has taken me many places I never imagined I'd see, such as Paris, Cape Town and Stone Henge, to name just a few. This week I'm in another such place - Florence, South Carolina. It may not have historic landmarks or sidewalks, but it's also a place I never envisioned spending time.

We began our tour in mostly large cities, staying downtown - areas conducive to walking. Now that we have been spending weeks in smaller cities in the South, apparently no one walks in these places. The city of Florence, along with too many cities in the US, was designed assuming that everyone has a car. Why didn't anyone have carless groups of traveling show vagabonds in my mind when city planning?