The Hen's 2016 GOP Candidate Guide

Binders!

It seems like just yesterday that Mitt Romney was talking about binders of women and President Obama was digging up his birth certificate. But with the next presidential election over a year away, the primary muck-fest has already begun and everyone and their brothers want to get involved. (One's brother was already president!)

While I missed the first GOP debate, I was astounded to learn that 15 people still consider themselves contenders for the Republican nomination, and all 15 of these people would debate against each other on live television. I think most Americans are struggling to distinguish who all these people are, aside from the guy on The Apprentice. (I will not be talking about him because if you're reading this, there is no possible way you've navigated the Internet without seeing Donald Trump and his ugly face. Yes, I said it, Trump!)

The Hen is here to help you make your GOP choice! Here is a comprehensive guide to who is who in this crowded circus.

The Honda Flop: A Day in the Life

Adjusting to unemployed life has its ups and downs. Some moments, it's "I have total freedom to plan trips, see all my friends, and write my highly-anticipated memoir!" Other moments, it's "I have all the time in world to stare at the ceiling as my life ticks by, while the rest of the world has jobs, spouses, and children. I'm capable of nothing." These contrasting feelings typically change as fast as the radio can change Taylor Swift songs. Things are going well.

I said, "9:30!"

Today's necessary task to fill the time: routine oil change and inspection at Honda. There is
something beautiful about being able to choose any day and time for tedious but necessary appointments. (I'm calling the shots and I say, "Tuesday at 9:30!") There is also something horrifying about losing the concept of what day it is, and waking up in a hungover panic on Monday, thinking I missed my date with Honda, but that's beside the point.