April 17, 2013

Putting the "Me" in Team

Voting for The Blog Exchange contest is over and thank goodness. While it was a great contest to enter and I hope the judges miraculously choose this hen as a wildcard (I've been called both "wild" and "a card"), I can now get back to business as usual for The Cackling Hen. We'll be back to regular hen promotion instead of daily "vote for me or else" promotion, and that's a big weight off my feathers.

Probably Hen fans.
Since I was close in the running and I have the best following (forget Beliebers!), I knew I had a chance at getting the votes if I spread the word effectively. But although it's free, quick, and not one voter complained (yet), there are only so many creative ways to say "vote for me right now" before it comes across as "EVERYONE NEEDS TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" And while clearly everyone should pay attention to The Cackling Hen, I don't want it to come across that way.

April 10, 2013

Same-Hen Marriage

Let's move on.
"Marriage equality." "Same-sex marriage." "Gay marriage." "Grumpy cat memes." All these terms have been thrown around incessantly as the Supreme Court debates on California's Prop. 8, which banned same-sex marriage (but thankfully not grumpy cats) in the state. Since it's such a hot-button issue and I
hate being cold, here's a peck at the matter from The Hen.

As a reasonably educated hen, this heavy debate involving the government, religion, gay rights, human rights and grumpy cats doesn't make much sense. As much as I love warm temperatures, it's gotten far too heated for my liking. The issue of same-sex marriage doesn't personally affect the vast majority of Americans, so why do so many hens have their feathers beyond ruffled?

April 1, 2013

A Foolish Day

It was just the neighbor.
In honor of April Fool's Day, I felt obligated (in a good way) to write something since this is a humor column. If I stayed silent today, it would be like The Pope being silent on Easter or me being silent about Chick-fil-A.

While April Fool's Day is nationally recognized, people's participation is unpredictable. The goal is to fool people, so we need to act natural but scream, "April fools!" when we convince our friends we saw Britney Spears at Costco. I love fooling people, but I've also been fooled, so I'm on guard all day, suspicious of everyone's every word. I thought I was being fooled today at McDonald's, but it turns out they were just slow and incompetent in making my meal. Still, I kept staring deep into my cashier's eyes until my food was delivered and I was escorted out by the manager for "harassing" her.