The Cat That Changed My Life

The past 24 hours have been a whirlwind of feathers and tequila shots for The Cackling Hen! I'm not talking about a typical Wednesday night at an unmarked bar or the Olympics. I've apparently caught a virus - a twinge of that popular Internet virus that makes stupid things popular for 15 minutes. I think I'm viral, going viral, or just have the flu. Regardless, I have to peck about it before that dreaded 16th minute.

In honor of Facebook's 10th birthday, it's given us a present: a one-minute video recapping some of our Facebook postings. Some turned out decently, reminding us of a few fond memories of pictures with friends or status updates friends claimed they liked. Some turned out random, boring, or stupid, depending on how one feels about photos of lobster tanks or cupcakes trumping graduation pics. Either way, my newsfeed was filled with everyone's one-minute life story. That was overwhelming.

In the midst of stories and people complaining about the stories, an amazing little cat flew onto the scene to articulate what many of us were thinking. Even if we weren't thinking it, it was hilarious.

A Foolish Day

It was just the neighbor.

In honor of April Fool's Day, I felt obligated (in a good way) to write something since this is a humor column. If I stayed silent today, it would be like The Pope being silent on Easter or me being silent about Chick-fil-A.

While April Fool's Day is nationally recognized, people's participation is unpredictable. The goal is to fool people, so we need to act natural but scream, "April fools!" when we convince our friends we saw Britney Spears at Costco. I love fooling people, but I've also been fooled, so I'm on guard all day, suspicious of everyone's every word. I thought I was being fooled today at McDonald's, but it turns out they were just slow and incompetent in making my meal. Still, I kept staring deep into my cashier's eyes until my food was delivered and I was escorted out by the manager for "harassing" her.

Confessions at Chick-fil-A

Cathy: "Can't marry." ^

Chick-fil-A is in the news both locally and nationally. Nationally, CEO Dan Cathy has reaffirmed his strong opposition to same-sex marriage, reiterating his "Christian" and "Godly" views. But more importantly, a new Chick-fil-A restaurant opened in northern Lakeland, Florida. And if one can make it here, one can make it anywhere! ...or something.

The Lakeland Chick-fil-A countdown was epic. That famous cow showed up in front of the restaurant under construction weeks before the opening, mooing about how soon it would open. Each day, the sign was replaced and each day came 24 hours closer to the grand opening. Lakeland hadn't seen so much excitement since one week earlier, when a new Panda Express opened across the street. The addition of Chick-fil-A would round out Highway 98 as the most American stretch of highway in the nation - housing every reputable chain restaurant, box store and vacant strip mall within a one-mile strip. With the occasional man in an Uncle Sam hat biking with a buggy of free bibles, the image belongs on the back of a coin.