December 30, 2014

The 2015 is Coming!

Being Britney Spears.
Now that Christmas is over, it's that dreaded time of year where I feel obligated to make up some New Year's resolutions and then justify why I didn't do the ones fully from the year before. In 2012, I survived the apocalypse, and then felt capable of bettering myself in 5 ways. In 2013, I didn't feel like making up new resolutions, but I looked back at the year and focused on the random things I did in lieu of the dumb resolutions. This year, I'm too mentally exhausted and/or clinically unstable to do any of these things, so I turned to the Internet for help in finding resolutions I won't keep, but might make a half-decent article.

December 25, 2014

Merry Clucking Christmas!

Merry Christmas from The Cackling Hen! This is a holiday I can support (unless you're eating turkey). Thank goodness that murderous blasphemy of a holiday called "Thanksgiving" is over! What should I be thankful for, slaughterhouses? Gluttony at my cousins' expense? Thanksgiving, my tail feather! On to Santa, Jesus, reindeer, and all that makes the season magical!

I'm home for Christmas day for the first time since I joined Hens on Ice. It got me thinking of how some traditions of our Christmas have stayed the same, but how it's changed for me as well over the years from baby chick to old hen.

December 1, 2014

Life in the Skywalks

After a riveting week in Lincoln, Nebraska, the Hens on Ice tour plopped us birds into Des Moines, Iowa. Not having much prior knowledge about Des Moines, I learned a lot in our time there. It's the capital of Iowa (with a surprisingly posh capital building!) and really the only city I can name in Iowa. They also don't sell wine in Walgreens and it's really cold in November, just to name a few things.

Smug local.
Like Lincoln, I was happy to find some more local gems, including another sassy coffee shop and some weird, but great bars. There was even an Asian pizza restaurant, which looked wonderfully weird, but I never felt weird enough or wonderful enough to try it. And a shocking beauty within all this surprise sass is that it's all connected by an extensive skywalk system. After a day of freezing like a fool and crying on the empty sidewalks of Des Moines, I decided to try to join the smart birds up above, wearing t-shirts while it was snowing.