December 25, 2014

Merry Clucking Christmas!

Merry Christmas from The Cackling Hen! This is a holiday I can support (unless you're eating turkey). Thank goodness that murderous blasphemy of a holiday called "Thanksgiving" is over! What should I be thankful for, slaughterhouses? Gluttony at my cousins' expense? Thanksgiving, my tail feather! On to Santa, Jesus, reindeer, and all that makes the season magical!

I'm home for Christmas day for the first time since I joined Hens on Ice. It got me thinking of how some traditions of our Christmas have stayed the same, but how it's changed for me as well over the years from baby chick to old hen.


As a young chickadee, I'd eagerly await Santa's visit with any of the presents I'd requested. One Christmas eve, I looked out the window with my plastic binoculars and exclaimed that I spotted him flying through the air! I knew deep down it was a leaf from a tree, but I just wanted see him. The leaf was good enough in my mind.

I wanted THIS?!
One year when I was 6 or 12, all I wanted was a particular beanie baby - the turkey. That's all I wanted. I think it's all I requested. Poor Santa, he'd typically get me a few things, so I sure made his job difficult that year. Thank goodness I got the turkey or I would have been despondent. I'm sure I received some other nice gifts that year, but I was blinded by the beanbag turkey.

When I was 13, Santa slipped up, seemingly on purpose, and wrote his note with oddly similar handwriting to my mom's. The note explained that he had to pass his duties onto "Santa Mom" and "Santa Dad." In essence, he quit. Then the lightbulb flickered in my bird brain - it had always been mom and dad! The jig was up, and all on home video TMZ-style. Get that camera out of my face dad! I'm pissed! I always thought I was a good chick, but apparently never in Santa's eyes. What a jerk. Thankfully, mom and dad took pity on me and picked up his slack.

No. Just no.
After I flew the coop, it was always a treat to travel home for Christmas, wherever home was. Eventually, my parents moved to Florida, and Christmas got weird. Decorated palm trees, flamingos with Santa hats, giant Santas in swim trunks and sunglasses - has the sun fried everyone's brain that much here? It's Christmas and I'm sweating, this isn't right. But at least the local cheer has good intent.

As an older bird, I've learned that Christmas is less and less about the physical place or beanie babies for me (except for that One Direction DVD - that was a must!), it's about being with family, or friends if I can't be home. It's about making Christmas special in some personal way wherever I am, whether I'm having a nice dinner with friends or wasted at the club (with friends!). After mother goose's health scare this year, we are grateful that tough old bird wanted more years of beanie babies and fighting through family game night. She fought her way out of the hospital in the Old Saint Nick of time and here we are, grandma too, insensitive remarks and all.

I hope this year finds you in a happy and healthy place, grateful for what you have. Thank you for reading The Cackling Hen. Merry clucking Christmas! Remember to share the best free gift of all this season - my link.


Keep reading! I did things in 2013.

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