November 30, 2012

It's Britney, Bitch! 2.0

The Cackling Hen recently pecked at Christina Aguilera, and while there's still more to peck at (try a gym membership, Christina), it's time to put Britney Spears back on the pecking block. Britney has always been a favorite for The Hen, and now that she's on primetime TV with the X Factor, along with a new music video with, Britney's back on The Hen!

"So, you bring the star power and I'll bring the auto tune."
Wednesday night was a big night for Britney on the X Factor. Not only did she look sharp (thank God she ditched the turtle neck and found a hair brush since an earlier episode), X Factor also premiered her new music video with, "Scream and Shout." To be fair, it's's music video featuring Britney Spears, since her parts just consist of harmonies, talking, and mouthing her infamous 2007 line, "It's Britney, bitch." But since we lose interest in when he's not a Black Eyed Pea, Britney's presence aims to carry this video.

After most of the X Factor contestants performed, Khloe Kardashian built up the video premiere by praising Britney and ignoring Khloe reminded us of her 8 number one hits, 6 albums debuting at number one, and her record sales of over 100 million. Britney's response to her success was this face:

Too many people like me!
Britney, why are you cringing at your smash hits? Now you're making us question why we like them if you didn't. Her facial muscles are really getting a workout from X Factor...

After I saw Britney's reaction to her big premiere, I was uncomfortable too. The fact that Britney sounds like a British robot for half of her lines didn't help that feeling. Let's take a look at the good, the bad and the ugly from "Scream and Shout."

The Good
  • Britney still looks great in a music video. How'd she turn 30?
  • Britney's getting publicity for her music and TV show, not head shaving and divorce.
  • She never makes any of those horrible faces in the music video.
  • "It's Britney, bitch!" is back!
The Bad
  • Britney never sings by herself. Her singing harmonizes with an auto-tuned rapper. 
  • Britney's solo moments are her talking, talking like a British robot. 
  • No dance scene - that sassy strut won't be as cute at 40. 
  • My favorite Britney moment on the song is a recycled audio clip from 2007.
The Ugly
  • That thin headband
  • When Britney multiplies and there are 3 headbands
  • When Britney multiplies and there are 5 headbands

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