Dear Hen, My Boyfriend Loves One Direction!

My hen friend Kim turns to The Cackling Hen when she needs advice. First, she came to me when she was clueless about Twitter. She may not be a professional yet, but The Hen's Guide to Twitter at least taught her the definition of a hashtag. Unfortunately for her but fortunately for us, Kim has returned to this bird for advice, and I'll be helping her publicly in this article. Move over, "Dear Abby!"

Lim in action!

This time, Kim, who we'll call "Lim," comes to The Hen seeking relationship advice. While I know "Lim" is a great bird, her boyfriend recently is questioning how awesome she truly is. Her boyfriend, who we'll call "Bandrew," is also a huge One Direction fan. Because One Direction is so good, this has put a strain on their relationship, and he's threatened to love the band more than her if she doesn't get "more awesome." While Bandrew's standards are unreasonably high comparing anyone to One Direction, fret no more, Lim! The Cackling Hen has a guide for you!

Hello, Kitty. Goodbye, Avril. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

This is the first (and last) Hen article on Avril Lavigne, but with a "song" like "Hello Kitty" that's creating a buzz for being terrible, there is far too much to peck to resist. And I like cats. So back by unpopular demand, here is The Hen's "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" for Avril Lavigne's "Hello Kitty."

Britney's Solid Advice: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!

It's Britney, bitch! She's back, uncensored, and wise. In Britney's new single and video, she has solid advice for anyone who will listen. Basically, she reminds us that we need to work hard for anything we want in life. But her lyrics are more inspirational than my paraphrasing, so check out the new video, and the good, the bad, and the ugly!

One Direction's Best Song, Like, EVER! The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

One Direction is back with new material for our eyes and ears. The song, "Best Song Ever," hit radio airwaves last week, along with a serious of cruel and confusing teasers for the video. Each day, a new teaser would reveal another character in this music video, with an uncanny resemblance to a 1D member, except fat, bald, gay, or a woman. I had no idea what direction this video was going, but I was eager (and nervous) to find out. Watch the video below before I take a peck at the boys.

Britney with the Smurfs: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

When Britney Spears released "Ooh La La" for the Smurfs 2 soundtrack, I knew it was only a matter of time before her music video, where she'd either a) dance with smurfs, or b) be a smurf. Thank the lord "b" didn't happen, but "a" barely happens. Britney is with the smurfs, but I need to look up the definition of "dancing" again. C'mon, Britney! Here's a look at "Ooh La La's" good, bad, and ugly. 

New Miley Cyrus! The... the Bad and the Ugly

Miley Cyrus is back with new music! In spite of the criticism she gets, she's put out some catchy pop songs and I was eager to hear her latest. Sure, she's not Hannah Montana anymore, but that's fine with me. Pop stars always sound a little less like chipmunks when they get off the Disney Channel. Her last album, Can't Be Tamed, caught some flack for being too mature, too provocative, or too slutty for a girl her age. But now releasing the We Can't Stop single for Lord only knows what kind of album, it makes all of Can't Be Tamed seem tame enough for the preschool.

Normally I recommend watching the music video at hand if you haven't already, but I can't do that in good conscience. I'll put links to both the video and just the audio of the new song. I endorse listening to the audio quietly while reading this. Watch the video at your own risk.

It's Britney, Bitch! 2.0

The Cackling Hen recently pecked at Christina Aguilera, and while there's still more to peck at (try a gym membership, Christina), it's time to put Britney Spears back on the pecking block. Britney has always been a favorite for The Hen, and now that she's on primetime TV with the X Factor, along with a new music video with will.i.am, Britney's back on The Hen!

"So, you bring the star power and I'll bring the auto tune."

Wednesday night was a big night for Britney on the X Factor. Not only did she look sharp (thank God she ditched the turtle neck and found a hair brush since an earlier episode), X Factor also premiered her new music video with will.i.am, "Scream and Shout." To be fair, it's will.i.am's music video featuring Britney Spears, since her parts just consist of harmonies, talking, and mouthing her infamous 2007 line, "It's Britney, bitch." But since we lose interest in will.i.am when he's not a Black Eyed Pea, Britney's presence aims to carry this video.

New Xtina: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

When I started The Cackling Hen, I envisioned this little cackle column to primarily take a peck at pop culture and silly celebrities. Then things like the election and my own life derailed that idea, and The Hen evolved into an unpredictable column! While Hens on Ice and Republicans have often been the pecking bags lately, it's time to go back to The Cackling Hen's early intentions. With a new song and video, let's take a peck at Christina Aguilera.

I wish my last album sold better.

Christina has not gone unscathed from The Hen. She got a good peck back when The Hen lived in USFSP's Crow's Nest. Check out when Christina made the anthem her own. Since getting creative with the national anthem, Christina joined The Voice as a judge, gained 40 pounds and got into drag makeup. Now she has a new music video - her first since her not-so-successful Bionic album.