New Xtina: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

When I started The Cackling Hen, I envisioned this little cackle column to primarily take a peck at pop culture and silly celebrities. Then things like the election and my own life derailed that idea, and The Hen evolved into an unpredictable column! While Hens on Ice and Republicans have often been the pecking bags lately, it's time to go back to The Cackling Hen's early intentions. With a new song and video, let's take a peck at Christina Aguilera.

I wish my last album sold better.

Christina has not gone unscathed from The Hen. She got a good peck back when The Hen lived in USFSP's Crow's Nest. Check out when Christina made the anthem her own. Since getting creative with the national anthem, Christina joined The Voice as a judge, gained 40 pounds and got into drag makeup. Now she has a new music video - her first since her not-so-successful Bionic album.

The Good:

• Christina still has the pipes, and we hear lots of her classic wailing in this song too. It's good to have your voice back on the charts, Christina. 

• She looks pretty good in some of the scenes. The platinum hair is sassy, she still has that provocative look and she doesn't look too much like a drag queen. 

• The song is catchy. At first, I found it mediocre and unoriginal. But now, it's catchy and unoriginal. I can't get it out of my head.

The Bad:

• Quit strutting around and start dancing! Every good music video needs at least one dance scene. Until then, it's not a full comeback. 

• Why are you killing these men? I thought you wanted their bodies, not their dead bodies. Yes, it's artsy using the colors and confetti in lieu of blood, but she's still killing men.

• The random tanning bed shots. Christina, why are you fake baking at night, outside, with your clothes on? 

• Christina watching cartoons on her 1970 TV set, then flipping it to The Lucy Show. What? At least make it I Love Lucy.

• The song's unoriginal. Let's be honest, there's nothing groundbreaking about the song, it won't top the charts or change pop music forever. The best part is Christina's amazing voice shining through this highly-produced, catchy jam.

The Ugly:

• The clown hair. Your platinum blonde suits you. Highlights can be fun and sassy, but the rainbow extensions just look like left over cotton candy. 

• That baggy white shirt and no pants look. It's a shirt, not a dress, and it doesn't even fit. It's the opposite of flattering for the "new" Christina, who's trying to embrace her curves. Wear something that fits or that's modest, or at least try some pants. 

• Winter cap and stilettos in a bar? No.