July 14, 2013

Britney with the Smurfs: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

When Britney Spears released "Ooh La La" for the Smurfs 2 soundtrack, I knew it was only a matter of time before her music video, where she'd either a) dance with smurfs, or b) be a smurf. Thank the lord "b" didn't happen, but "a" barely happens. Britney is with the smurfs, but I need to look up the definition of "dancing" again. C'mon, Britney! Here's a look at "Ooh La La's" good, bad, and ugly. 




The good:
  • Britney looks great! She looks fresh, fit, and the hair extensions are looking as good as it gets for Britney. The outfit is sassy and appropriate... well, as appropriate as an outfit can be for dancing with animated Smurfs. 
  • Her kids are cute. It's nice to see Britney able to work with her kids on a project, and maybe it's our first glimpse at future stars. But the question is: Is their last name Spears or Federline?
  • Britney still has the look. Something about her is still so captivating, even if she's singing with mini blue animations.
  • That little blonde Smurf looks like she's going to be the underdog that saves the day. She's the cutest Smurf and looks like a little blue Britney. 
  • As silly as it all is, Britney sells it. She seems genuinely excited about pretending to be surrounded by little blue things.
The bad:
  • Singing for an animated sequel makes it a reality that Britney is no longer dominating the top of the pop charts. Sure it's cute and fun, but the other pop star diva moms (Beyoncé, Christina, Shakira, J Lo, Mariah...) wouldn't touch this with a 10-foot pole. 
Watch out!
  • We know Britney's best dancing days are behind her, but this is a new low. Once wowing us at the VMAs, Britney is now fist pumping and bending her knees while her stilettos stay on the ground. She's into that fist pump, but how about some minimal choreography? She's Britney Spears and the Smurfs are out-dancing her... by a lot.
  • For the majority of the video, Britney is isolated from all other people. She's interacting with animation, and looks awkward towering over those Smurfs like a monster. Thank goodness she didn't pick up her stilettos while trying to dance - she could squish a few in one step. 
  • What the hell is the plot of this movie? A mix of humans and Smurfs, mayhem and blue lasers? No thank you.
The ugly:
  • When Britney's kids join her in the video, she grabs their hands on the line, "take my hand." That's seemingly cute, except the full line is, "take my hand, we can go all night." So Britney is grabbing her children's hands in the middle of her commonly suggestive lyrics. It may be the Smurfs soundtrack, but it's still a Britney song.
  • Smurfs out-witting humans. 

Yikes.

Read the "Ooh La La" song review! "New Britney! The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly"
Check out "It's Britney, Bitch! 2.0" - The Hen's peck at "Scream and Shout!"

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