|Bitch stole my outfit.
For the USA's special day, a few of us hens met at our friend, Erin's house and flapped along to a party at Erin's friend's coup. With the promise of hot dogs and fireworks, I gladly joined. The celebration started in typical cross-group party fashion: one circle of long-time friends each introducing themselves to another circle of long-time friends, and no one remembering anyone's name, including the company we came with. Who's Erin?
After a beer and the promise of grilled meat, everyone's chicken wire came down and mingling ensued. Once I saw there was no poultry on the grill, I let my feathers down and had more beer. After a rousing backyard tossing game, my friends and I sat down to rest our hard working limbs. Soon after, a mother hen fluttered over to our group to introduce herself and comment on our friend, Zoe's lovely baby chick. After a question or two, she turned to me and said, "Oh, you must be the father." I instinctively slapped my wings on the chair's arms as we all echoed, "NO!" Startled, mother hen fluttered back a step as we picked our lower beaks off the ground. I have never once in my time on this earth been mistaken as a father, let alone exude any characteristics of a father. Usually the first squawk out of my beak screams, "I'm not a father!" to anyone with eyes and ears. In mother hen's defense, I hadn't said a peep before she made the assumption, and maybe she has a touch of glaucoma.
"Are you guys LDS?" Asked the friendly turkey.
"Oh! No, we're not." We replied in a shocked unison.
"Oh, okay," the turkey gobbled. "I just saw three girls with nice figures wearing one-piece bathing suits, and I thought y'all might by LDS."
We smiled and she fluttered away. We cackled about this new vibe we gave on the beach, another new one. Apparently my demeanor flapping around the beach was overshadowed by my friends who chose to cover their stomachs on the beach. I didn't know one-piece swim suits screamed, "mormon!" after all these years. I wonder how many people assumed my mom was mormon when I was growing up.
|My friends and I.
Keep reading! Fed up with hashtag abuse? So is The Cackling Hen. Read #EVERYTHING.