|Who the hell are you?
Maybe it's the fact that I've never cleaned in the spring before, or maybe it's the pot of coffee I drank all day, but I'm buzzed about this spring cleaning and the eventual result of peaceful, spacious living. I don't think spring cleaning will lose the noisy roommates or cats, but one step at a time. And in the midst of scouring every corner of my coup, I've found some bizarre things I forgot I owned, don't need in my coup, or both.
Weird things in my coup:
1. A yodeling pickle. This was a fun gag gift a few years ago. Since its 15 minutes of fun and weirdness, it hasn't been tucked away in a drawer on box, it's been sitting prominently on my bookshelf. Why? It's in the same vicinity as my cherished trinkets from foreign lands. While the plastic dill was probably made in China, it's got to go. Each time I've accidentally bumped it today, that 30-second yodel has gone from slightly obnoxious to making my ears bleed.
|More appropriate for her.
remember the lady bear sitting on a baby rocking chair in a corner of the basement. When my parents moved to Florida, my mom put it in my room. I moved it to the guest room a few times, since the dress goes better with the Grandma vibe in there, but lady bear keeps finding its way back to my room. I may have other weird things in my room that I voluntarily placed, but at the end of the day, I'm a 27-year-old male and I do not want a giant teddy bear in a dress in my room. It clashes with the South African art and the One Direction poster.
3. Melted remnants of a resistance band. One perk of dislocating my shoulder was getting an elastic resistance band so I could practice my painful rehab exercises at home. I figured I could use it to rehabilitate any future injury or just to keep myself toned. Four years later, I found that thing at the bottom of a drawer, melted into an awkward, brittle lump, partially stuck to the drawer and magazines. When in the past four years has this drawer been so hot to melt elastic? The drawer has never been out of a home for more than an hour drive. Now I'm scanning my room for hidden heat vents or hot springs. I no longer own a functioning resistance band.
|Happy Father's Day
5. A life-sized cardboard cut out of a One Direction member. This actually was a lovely and generous gift from Antoinette Hempel-Bakker, one of The Cackling Hen's biggest fans. I voluntarily put it in my room today and I cherish it, but I still recognize the fact that it's weird.
|I need a bigger room.
Keep reading! "Weird Things In My Coup Part II."