Pros and Cons of a Nine-Month Tour

Last night was our Hens on Ice closing night party. While we still have a week of shows ahead of us, we celebrated like we didn't. And while the fatigue of a nine-month tour kicked in eight months ago, any soreness, bitterness or suppressed disorders got checked at the door with out coats. Okay, we didn't wear coats.

Seeing everyone together dressed nicely and enjoying themselves made me nostalgic over this seemingly endless tour. Sure, we've endured many rough patches along the way, but we got through them together. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so I've felt strong enough to avoid the gym this year. It's been an emotional roller coaster, so I decided to look back at the pros and cons of a nine month tour.

9 months? Let me off!

Pro: Traveling every week and seeing so many new places so quickly. Yes, I have to work in each of these places, but all the travel is on Hens on Ice's dime. I would have never seen most of the places I've been if it weren't for my work with Hens on Ice. So many changes in scenery keep things exciting.

Con: Traveling every week and packing every week. Once I settle into a room, I have to unsettle myself and toss all my shit back in the same two suitcases just a few days later. Whether I buy anything that week or not, it never fits like I want it and it becomes a wrestling match with my luggage to zip the bags. And while I've been to many amazing places, there are also the dreary, dumpy towns with no sidewalks and nothing to see other than the Olive Garden. And getting to Olive Garden requires darting across a 6-lane highway in the dark and sub-zero temperatures. Weeks like that make me want to curl up in my suitcase for the week and wait until that bag lands somewhere decent. Evansville, Indiana and Erie, Pennsylvania are not destinations. I won't even get into the process of traveling itself. Ten-hour bus rides and airport check-ins for a group of 90 need their own paragraphs.

We're just trying to get to Erie.

Pro: Working, living and traveling with the same group of people, we all become very close very quickly. The group really becomes like a family and I've made some dear friends. I feel lucky that I work each day with a great group of friends and coworkers who always keep our work environment fun and interesting. Living in the same hotel, it's easy to get together outside of work - no driving or work schedules to work out!

Hands off my bronzer!

Con: Every family has the black sheep - the crazy aunt, the bitter, senile grandpa and/or the cousin in and out of jail and rehab. But in a tour family of 90 people, there are all shades of sheep and all kinds of crazy. Crazy isn't necessarily a bad thing since we're all a degree of crazy living this lifestyle, but put 90 crazies in a petrie dish for 9 months, and it can only breed insanity. Also, we're typically more blunt and less patient with our immediate family members than coworkers. So when that line is blurred, it's never conducive to work when I snap at my coworkers over silly things as if I were at home, yelling at mom over buying pecan ice cream instead of vanilla, or yelling at the cat for knocking over my One Direction cut outs. Don't touch my make up wipes! Could you just shut up?!

Pro: After nine months, I know the show quite well. We get into a rhythm with the shows and the schedule so now I can do most of the show with my eyes closed. Even when my mind and body tell me I'm tired, my body somehow keeps moving and the show's over. Was that muscle memory or am I Bill Murray in Groundhog Day?

Con: After nine months, the show's soundtrack and choreography haunt me. I have nightmares about something going awry in the show at least five nights a week. The only dance moves I pull out at a club are from the Under the Sea number. And if I hear "Life is a Highway" in public, I scream, cry and run away as fast as I can.

Get me off this highway!

With the tour coming to an end this week, where am I going to get material for The Cackling Hen this summer?

Read more about my life on the road! Check out "Pecking Away the Glam Part I!"