May 2, 2013

#Selfie Overload!

It's been a busy few weeks of work and cackle block, but I'm back with a fresh peck at one nasty side effect of social media: self pictures, or "selfies." There was a healthier time when we all just hated pictures of ourselves, so what happened to that?

When I'm doing research on the internet and looking for Grumpy Cat memes, I don't want to see pictures of my "friends" in a bathroom mirror, acting natural - shirtless and making a duck face.  Facebook's name alone suggests I will see a lot of faces when I log on, but I miss the days of more faces with friends and less pouty, pensive faces alone in a dark room...or the car. That can't be safe at 70 miles per hour.

Hands on the wheel!

What set me over the edge recently was seeing a friend of a friend's picture on my newsfeed, because my friend had "liked" this photo. So there is a big image of a stranger looking at me that is not just a "selfie," but a selfie collage of 4 photos - 4 photos of this young man's reflection in the mirror, taken with his iPhone, shirtless, flexing, and altering his pose and face slightly, but not enough to merit a collage. As if the pictures weren't bad enough, the caption reads, "Got bored cooking dinner! Selfie collage! LOL!" What happened to having the TV on or making a dance routine in the kitchen while cooking? One picture...or I guess 4 pictures, and I think this stranger is a vain, obnoxious, bad cook who needs a hobby. Show off your abs and pecs at the beach, not your dimly lit bathroom. And what is he cooking that can be left unattended long enough to take 4 pictures, make a collage and share it on Facebook? I only cook pasta, but I know the second I leave that boiling pot it will boil over and scald the cat. Thank you, Facebook, for making it so easy to dislike complete strangers. I'm busy enough disliking certain celebrities, I don't have time for this!

Fitting celeb selfie. 

We've become so vain so quickly. I remember my grandpa didn't want to be in any pictures, and if he was forced, he never smiled. Now millions of grown adults are taking pictures of just themselves in dingy mirrors to show everyone what they look like doing mundane activities like exercising, shaving or peeing. And all we want from those stupid photos are instantly gratifying comments from our friends, such as, "OMG! You look great!" or "Put the seat down!" But before you put up another selfie, or heaven forbid, a selfie collage, just remember: for all those comments telling you that you look amazing, the rest of your friends are rolling their eyes and silently judging you; or they're writing blog articles about it.

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