My favorite Christmas gifts this year:
- Bronchitis. That was a cute surprise that arrived early and unwrapped. After years of half joking about my recurring cough being "undiagnosed chronic seasonal bronchitis," I finally got diagnosed with the real thing. I never went to the doctor once with over 4 years of cushy Hens on Ice health insurance. Less than a month into my half-decent Obamacare out of my pocket, I'm taking full advantage. Why pay $240 a month without getting some fun germs in Orlando? My voice is back but the cackle is still raspy. Hopefully, I'll be back to my cackling self soon and out of this tourism cesspool.
|Away in a manger.|
- A "Hillary Rodham Clinton Presidential Playset" book. This paper doll book is all the fun! Not only does paper Hillary come with different outfits, faces, and hairstyles, she also comes with friends. Paper Bill, paper Oprah, and paper Chris Christie are just a few! The combinations of fun are endless. Hillary will definitely be in a gown on 2016 election night, with Bill, Oprah, and a bald eagle by her side.
- A new orange throwback Buccaneers T-Shirt. I'm so grateful the old Buccaneers pirate logo has become somewhat trendy again, just like vinyl records and powdered wigs. The old logo is also more of a nostalgia piece instead of fan pride for a humiliating team, so I still enjoy rocking Bucco Bruce on the Bucs' darkest days, just like when I was 6 years old. It was time for an upgrade, since my other throwback shirt isn't really throwback, being made in 1994 as a relevant shirt. I loved the new shirt from father goose until he opened the present he got for himself: TWO throwback Buccaneers shirts. I jumped on the loser wagon first and now dad wants all the Bucs shirts. Merry Christmas - I'm stealing one of them.
- A Woody ornament. After leaving Hens on Ice and my show's large Toy Story segment, I now love everything Toy Story, as it reminds me of my glory days of last year skating those roles with my Hens. Woody is on his way to Bucco Bruce status, maybe eventually more special since I portrayed the role, so I insisted that this special ornament stay in my room all year instead of having its arms broken in the Christmas box. If only the Buccaneers would call me to be their Bucco Bruce mascot, I'd faint with excitement and have multiple sentimental ornaments.
All these amazing gifts still can't top the quality time spent with my family and arguing with grandma, while trying to remember the rules for Uno. I love hearing from friends near and far over the holidays, and the holiday season reminds me how lucky I am to have such special people in my life. I'm also lucky to get a Woody ornament and Hillary paper dolls. What were your favorite Christmas gifts?
KEEP READING! "Merry Clucking Christmas!"
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