Hen's Grown Up Christmas List

Does he come with the suit?

Maybe one day I'll have a major following and make millions from The Cackling Hen if I start writing and posting regularly. Until then, please enjoy my sporadic online presence!

I've had clucker's block. I still have plenty to cluck about because things still annoy me and I'm a really funny bird, but sometimes it's hard to find the time and motivation to write while working 4-hour days. Alas, in the holiday spirit, I'm here to deliver!

Now that I'm an old, gown, immature hen, mother hen and father goose still ask what I need for Christmas. I don't really need anything other than money, a job, or a sense of purpose in the morning, and those are hard to fit under the tree. Instead, I just remind them that I do not need anymore clothes so they can buy me clothes and put them under the tree.

In the spirit of Christmas and American greed, I've compiled my official Christmas wish list so you all know what to get me.

Best Christmas Gifts Ever!

Merry Christmas.

I hope you all had a merry Christmas, or a very happy December 25. The spirit of the holiday season is all about giving, spending time with loved ones, and wondering why I'm still sweating and miserable in Florida in winter. As I become an older bird, I have fewer gifts under the Festivus pole each year, which is okay since I can buy things I need as an adult. Still, it's nice to receive a few thoughtful gifts to rip open on Christmas morning, and I'll share a few of my favorites from 2015.