I Had a Dream... and It Wasn't a Nightmare: Bucs Win!

Ahoy, coop!

I had this really weird dream that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers got to play in the Super Bowl in their own stadium, and Tom Brady was their quarterback; so they won. But 2/3 of the stadium was filled with cardboard cut-outs of people, and the real people had to cover their faces most of the time.

Oh, wait...

That allegedly happened. The dystopia of 2020 clearly hasn't stopped for 2021. In the meantime, I'll be hoarding every newspaper article, picture, and all bootleg merchandise for the rest of the year.

Shifting gears for a new year after the greatest Super Bowl in history, The Hen is here to talk about sports ball! For those of you who are pure, originalist Cackling Hen fans, don't fret: My next article will return to babbling about idiot passengers, how that former president is still flaming human garbage shit, and/or Britney. 

yay, sports!

If you missed it - The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, my favorite football team, won Super Bowl 55. While we all fought for our lives during a global pandemic, the Buccaneers decided: THIS is our year to win the Super Bowl! They lured down Tom Brady, Gronk, other talents, and one alleged felon who can catch a ball. They all gelled at the right time, won it all, and celebrated in true Tampa style: drunk on boats. So if you're wondering why I care, why you should care, or what's a Buccaneer, this article is for you!

TB = Tom Brady AND Tampa Bay (not from The Onion)

Coronavirus has changed the world in ways we've never seen. Millions of people are quarantined in their homes. Toilet paper is gone. And Tom Brady is a Buccaneer.

There has been zero sports news with zero sporting events, but for the first time in my life, I will thank Tom Brady. We'll get to the Twilight Zone part where Tom joins Tampa Bay, but first, I thank Tom Brady for making news unrelated to the global pandemic.

Everything is cancelled and people's homes are now their personal jail cells, but Tom Brady's coming still registers as an Onion article in my mind, just like a Donald Trump presidency. But after many refreshes and journalistic research, it is true and I repeat: Tom Brady is a Tampa Bay Buccaneer.

apocolypse.