From Hockey Hater to Lightning Lover

 As I still wipe away tears of joy from the Tampa Bay Lightning's second Stanley Cup Championship in a row, and throwing all my money at new championship merch, I realized that all this was not for my beloved Buccaneers. What was I doing and how did this home-wrecker of a team glide into my heart too? I'm adding more Lightning blue garb to compliment the Bucs red in my home, accidentally displaying enough blue and red to look that kind of "patriotic" I'm not going for. Now that I'm in too deep emotionally and financially, I'm reflecting on how I accidentally became a hockey fan and self-diagnosing a new mental condition. So join me on my journey from hockey hater to Lightning lover!

come glide with me.

TB = Tom Brady AND Tampa Bay (not from The Onion)

Coronavirus has changed the world in ways we've never seen. Millions of people are quarantined in their homes. Toilet paper is gone. And Tom Brady is a Buccaneer.

There has been zero sports news with zero sporting events, but for the first time in my life, I will thank Tom Brady. We'll get to the Twilight Zone part where Tom joins Tampa Bay, but first, I thank Tom Brady for making news unrelated to the global pandemic.

Everything is cancelled and people's homes are now their personal jail cells, but Tom Brady's coming still registers as an Onion article in my mind, just like a Donald Trump presidency. But after many refreshes and journalistic research, it is true and I repeat: Tom Brady is a Tampa Bay Buccaneer.

apocolypse.

Life Isn't Fair: 1D in Tampa

Life sucks sometimes.

Life isn't fair. That's something I've learned to accept as a very young, somewhat handsome adult. And yelling, "That's not fair!" never even worked on the playground.

If life was fair, I'd be at tonight's One Direction concert in Tampa. I even had tickets for the show. But instead, I'm in some dump of a city called San Diego with my steady touring job, doing something I love while seeing many parts of the world. Like I said, life isn't fair.

Don't Poke the Mario Lopez

Keep the lights low.

In an effort to broaden its demographic from the elderly, chain smokers, and/or addicts, The Seminole Hard Rock in Tampa began "Hot Summer Nights Poolside Parties" on Friday nights. Held in the renovated pool area, getting in the pool seems against the rules. Instead, there are drink stands, music, and hundreds of cougars clawing for free drink samples and male attention. But as summer continued to boil, Hard Rock made some strategic changes to its pool parties - add more entertainment and push the time back past sunset to help hide the guests' crow's feet.

Each pool party has had a DJ, and a few added a celebrity guest. Early in the summer, I heard Mario Lopez would be coming, so I marked my calendar immediately for that event. The only other celeb who'd be coming this summer was a former Playboy Bunny. Pass.