1D's Hen Song and Huge Release Party!

Where's the other one?

When Zayn left One Direction, I was crushed, as I subtly wrote in "THE END OF THE BEST BAND EVER." Although 4/5 of the band and the group name remained, the band would never be the same without my favorite member. Months later, to no surprise since Zayn had already left, the group announced that "4/5 Direction Can't Stay As One." After one more album release, the group would be "taking a break" to follow the footsteps of *NSYNC.

I was quick to assume that any release sans Zayn would be garbage, but the 4 remaining boys proved me wrong with "Drag Me Down." Of course it would better with Zayn, but dammit, it's good. Even without their best band member, I knew I'd have to get 1D's final album the day it was released.

4/5 Direction Can't Stay as One

Zayn, you started the sadness.

Since launching my huge comeback with "Stages of Emotional Coping Leaving Hens on Ice," I vow to (probably) never have such a long hiatus away from the scene again. So to keep this comeback going and to never have to do another one, I need to keep clucking. Thankfully, unemployment could really help me out with this.

Although I lamented Zayn's departure from One Direction and essentially wrote them off as a band without him, 4/5 Direction officially announced they'll soon be disbanding, or "taking a break." Since the rumors turned announcement, my friends have been graffiti-ing my Facebook wall with links to this news, memes commenting on their inferiority, and condolences. For this news, I'm in a much better mental state, as my emotional meltdown happened when Zayn left.

THE END OF THE BEST BAND EVER.

Bye, Zayn :(

Today's headline was one I never wanted to see: "Zayn Quits One Direction."

Are you kidding me? As if today's surprise snow storm wasn't enough, this bombshell came along to break the Internet. Just kick me while I'm down in the snow, while pouring salt in my wound and blaring Justin Bieber! It's a tragic day in my world, the music world, and just the world. I'm at least coping better than the teenage girls posting their sobbing reactions on social media; I'm sobbing in private as a writer.

Some dramatics aside, I am saddened, and not just because Zayn is my favorite, the most talented, and the best looking. It's the end of an era musically and for my general obsession. I also might have to accept that my favorite artists can't be eternal, and that my amount of Zayn/1D merchandise may be a bit obsessive and qualify me a mental health assessment.

Life Isn't Fair: 1D in Tampa

Life sucks sometimes.

Life isn't fair. That's something I've learned to accept as a very young, somewhat handsome adult. And yelling, "That's not fair!" never even worked on the playground.

If life was fair, I'd be at tonight's One Direction concert in Tampa. I even had tickets for the show. But instead, I'm in some dump of a city called San Diego with my steady touring job, doing something I love while seeing many parts of the world. Like I said, life isn't fair.