October 3, 2014

Life Isn't Fair: 1D in Tampa

Life sucks sometimes.
Life isn't fair. That's something I've learned to accept as a very young, somewhat handsome adult. And yelling, "That's not fair!" never even worked on the playground.

If life was fair, I'd be at tonight's One Direction concert in Tampa. I even had tickets for the show. But instead, I'm in some dump of a city called San Diego with my steady touring job, doing something I love while seeing many parts of the world. Like I said, life isn't fair.

I bought the concert tickets before One Direction was even a band. I just knew an amazing boy band would be touring through Tampa in 2014 and I wanted to be there. Thankfully, Simon Cowell formed the phenomenon of One Direction and I wasn't stuck with tickets to some revival tour for Huey Lewis and the News. However, this spring, I had to make a decision on my future with Hens on Ice. While I love being a hen on ice, I needed to evaluate my life, so I made a pros and cons list of staying with the show birds. Pros included employment, another year of traveling with an enjoyable job, and not letting any leftover show makeup go to waste. Cons included missing the One Direction concert and unemployment. It was a difficult decision.
I just want it all.

Trying to stay positive about the situation, I was confident I could get at least a 500% profit in selling the tickets. I listed the tickets on Craigslist for a small fortune. I got e-mails immediately, writing, "I'm interested in the tickets!" It was funny how all these different people wrote me identical brief e-mails and never replied to my follow up questions. After a few weeks of this, I lost confidence in these Craigslist buyers.

Next, I listed the tickets on StubHub. I realized I was being slightly greedy and just wanted to sell the tickets quickly, so I bumped the mark up down to 300%. I continued to refresh my e-mail, sure that they'd sell within seconds. After about 3 hours, I got mad and impatient, and my phone died when I chucked it at the wall. What was wrong with birds in the Tampa Bay area and why were the tickets still available?

When we got to California a few days ago, I still had the tickets in my possession, as cruel fate spat on me and punched me in the beak with every extra hour I had to deal with the damn, coveted things. I got desperate and turned to Facebook statuses. I was sure my social network would reach to a friend, a friend of a friend, or a friend of a friend's mom's granddaughter, but all I got were a few "likes" (Thanks, but those "likes" really aren't selling the tickets and it feels like you're liking my misfortune) and presumed eye rolls. Finally, I turned to my best 1D hen friend, with whom we'd made a pact not to see the band without the other. It felt like giving a spouse permission for infidelity; times were desperate. But even she turned down the tickets, claiming to be "busy" "moving." Either she's an ultra loyal One Direction friend or she truly doesn't like the band. Either way, I was still stuck with these torturous tickets.


Desperate and crying, I slashed the ticket prices and my dignity. The only thing worse than missing the concert would be missing the concert and having the tickets go unused. Thankfully, I woke up this morning to see that the tickets sold, the day of the concert. After StubHub's commission, deductions, and slap on the ass, I think I owe the site for the tickets. But at least they are out of my feathers. I hope someone spills beer on these people in my seats.

Read more! Flying High With One Direction!
More 1D! Dear Hen, My Boyfriend Loves One Direction!

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