A Buc Shy of Perfect

 For anyone feeling sad this week from the Buccaneers' final-seconds loss playoff Sunday, I am too. This is for us and the Bucs. While this Hen isn't full of cackles this week, the Bucs and the fans deserve an homage to the year, even here on this silly blog.

It strings more because of how close the Bucs came to an unreal comeback win. It hurts more because after winning the Super Bowl last year, anything less than winning it again is a disappointment. It's a gut punch because in spite of unprecedented injuries and adversity all season, the team still won the most games in its history - just missing another Super Bowl win. So while every player, coach, and fan deserves to sit in sadness this week, there's also so much to look back on with pride, as it was another magical season, only without the fairy tail ending. 

From Hockey Hater to Lightning Lover

 As I still wipe away tears of joy from the Tampa Bay Lightning's second Stanley Cup Championship in a row, and throwing all my money at new championship merch, I realized that all this was not for my beloved Buccaneers. What was I doing and how did this home-wrecker of a team glide into my heart too? I'm adding more Lightning blue garb to compliment the Bucs red in my home, accidentally displaying enough blue and red to look that kind of "patriotic" I'm not going for. Now that I'm in too deep emotionally and financially, I'm reflecting on how I accidentally became a hockey fan and self-diagnosing a new mental condition. So join me on my journey from hockey hater to Lightning lover!

come glide with me.

I Had a Dream... and It Wasn't a Nightmare: Bucs Win!

Ahoy, coop!

I had this really weird dream that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers got to play in the Super Bowl in their own stadium, and Tom Brady was their quarterback; so they won. But 2/3 of the stadium was filled with cardboard cut-outs of people, and the real people had to cover their faces most of the time.

Oh, wait...

That allegedly happened. The dystopia of 2020 clearly hasn't stopped for 2021. In the meantime, I'll be hoarding every newspaper article, picture, and all bootleg merchandise for the rest of the year.

Shifting gears for a new year after the greatest Super Bowl in history, The Hen is here to talk about sports ball! For those of you who are pure, originalist Cackling Hen fans, don't fret: My next article will return to babbling about idiot passengers, how that former president is still flaming human garbage shit, and/or Britney. 

yay, sports!

If you missed it - The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, my favorite football team, won Super Bowl 55. While we all fought for our lives during a global pandemic, the Buccaneers decided: THIS is our year to win the Super Bowl! They lured down Tom Brady, Gronk, other talents, and one alleged felon who can catch a ball. They all gelled at the right time, won it all, and celebrated in true Tampa style: drunk on boats. So if you're wondering why I care, why you should care, or what's a Buccaneer, this article is for you!

TB = Tom Brady AND Tampa Bay (not from The Onion)

Coronavirus has changed the world in ways we've never seen. Millions of people are quarantined in their homes. Toilet paper is gone. And Tom Brady is a Buccaneer.

There has been zero sports news with zero sporting events, but for the first time in my life, I will thank Tom Brady. We'll get to the Twilight Zone part where Tom joins Tampa Bay, but first, I thank Tom Brady for making news unrelated to the global pandemic.

Everything is cancelled and people's homes are now their personal jail cells, but Tom Brady's coming still registers as an Onion article in my mind, just like a Donald Trump presidency. But after many refreshes and journalistic research, it is true and I repeat: Tom Brady is a Tampa Bay Buccaneer.

apocolypse.

Hashtag Olympics

No, Mitt Romney! No!

The Olympics are happening as we speak. Every two years we see the world's best athletes in hot and cold sports fly onto our radars and make us yell at the TV with national pride. With the presidential election just around the corner, I'm also yelling at the political ads in between events with national disgust. There's a lot of yelling.

Maybe it's because I went through a journalism and media studies program. Maybe it's because I'm in between work and spend idle summer days flapping around the coup. Maybe it's because of the onslaught of social media adding to the coverage. And maybe it's all three plus low blood sugar, but the commentary and coverage of the events is driving me mad. More yelling!