Romney is Worse Than Colonel Sanders

New debate: who gets the drumstick?

Last week was the first of too many presidential debates between President Obama and Mitt Romney. In an effort to distance myself from political commentary and lower my blood pressure, I opted for a sassy dinner out with hen friends over watching the debate. I will admit I did check my Twitter feed just long enough to scream across the table for five seconds, yelling five profanities about the debate's absurdity, but other than that, it was a lovely dinner of cackles and Thai food.

When I returned after some chicken dance and cocktails, I glanced at the news(feed) to look for a brief summary of any hot topics, outrageous quotes or fist fights from the debate. I was shocked to see numerous headlines with both Mitt Romney and Big Bird. What the hell is going on? Those two have as much in common as Steve Martin and Queen Latifah in Bringing Down the House. But there are no zany antics or Betty Whites in these headlines.

Back on the Icy Road

Hidalgo's Statue of Liberty

The hens are back on the ice. We won't be touring any of Europe or Mars, but we will be taking our show to many of America's cultural hot spots, such as Tupelo, Mississippi and Hidalgo, Texas. We just don't have the time for New York or L.A.

During last year's European tour, we had to adapt to European culture and coups. We learned some of the native language - British English - and we squished our feathers and seeds into the "cozy" confines built for hens a foot shorter than ourselves. We will now be touring North America, and although we just began the rehearsals, we are readapting to American life. Here are a few things these hens will need to get used to again.

Hashtag Olympics

No, Mitt Romney! No!

The Olympics are happening as we speak. Every two years we see the world's best athletes in hot and cold sports fly onto our radars and make us yell at the TV with national pride. With the presidential election just around the corner, I'm also yelling at the political ads in between events with national disgust. There's a lot of yelling.

Maybe it's because I went through a journalism and media studies program. Maybe it's because I'm in between work and spend idle summer days flapping around the coup. Maybe it's because of the onslaught of social media adding to the coverage. And maybe it's all three plus low blood sugar, but the commentary and coverage of the events is driving me mad. More yelling!