May 27, 2015

Are My Room Decorations Trendy or Humiliating?

Britney demands height order.
Now that the 15 minutes of attention for "Pretty Girls" seems about over, it's time to dust off these writing wings and get clucking for my first article since getting home from my most recent Hens on Ice scholastic year. Since this is my 4th tour with the skating birds, I've already covered some juicy topics about getting off the road for a hot minute. There are big pros and cons with such a lengthy tour with the same group of crazy loons, but I did that. I found some weird stuff in my room while trying to unpack, but that's been done too (in 2 parts!). But instead of crying, retiring, and squawkingwriting about not writing. Thankfully for you, I've realized again I'm a bit more insane than I'd originally thought.
at you to just read those old articles, I'll do better than

When I started Hens on Ice, I moved into my family's coop to break away from paying rent on a shoebox from which I'd be away for most of the year. My family has kindly given me a bedroom and daily scraps from meals. But on my 4th year of freeloading, I was greeted this summer with a week to get my bedroom ready for guests to sleep in it, and for me to be kicked to the floor or the curb for a night or two. This house needs another guest room, adults need to be more accustomed to sleeping on couches, and/or I need to find my own coop again. Regardless, this forced me to elevate my living conditions for company, and at least change my sheets. I'd forgotten where we store the clean ones.

Once I changed the beds, put piles of magazines in boxes, and shoved anything else in the closet, I had a clearer view of the hodgepodge of items on my walls and shelves that I could loosely call "decor." I've slowly decorated my room with things I've acquired over the past four years in piecemeal fashion, which means there is no theme or adhesion. I now saw that I'd created an interior designer's nightmare, and an example of how not to decorate a room.

It took the prospect of my parents' friends sleeping in my room to realize that my room's style maybe wasn't as fun or typical for most year olds, or anyone in any living quarters. But without the time or the will to redecorate before these people arrive, I may have to accept that my decorating style might make me look like an eclectic genius or a freak. You can be the judge, but if I seem like the latter, don't comment.

Items that decorate my room:
  • 2 Britney Spears posters: Circus and Femme Fatale Tours. 
  • A Zayn doll. Now probably a collector's item.
  • An autographed Miranda Sings 8 x 10. She's modeling on a shopping cart.
  • 3 vuvuzelas. They're as obnoxious as the name.
  • A lava lamp.
  • My skating competition medals and trophies. I did okay, especially at the Colorado Springs Invitational.
  • Original paintings of mine, including iconic buildings, palm trees, hearts, blades, boats, solar elements, and sunsets. Each painting has at least two of these elements. 
  • A stuffed grumpy cat. He's pissed.
  • A stuffed yellow pterodactyl. He's emotionless and the wrong color.
  • 2 One Direction Posters. Both have all 5 members.
  • Boxes of magazines. I can't get rid of them. 
  • 2 One Direction Calendars. It's either 2015 or 2013.
  • Multiple shelves of CD cases. They'll be hipster like vinyl one day.
  • 2 University degrees from America's finest establishments: Eckerd College and University of South Florida St. Petersburg. I refused to leave St. Pete city limits for higher education.
  • A One direction fleece blanket. It's from Ireland.
  • A Tampa Bay Buccaneers Super Bowl 37 Champions street sign, circa 2003. Since then, it's been about 12 years of sucking. 
  • Street art from Mexico, South Africa, Israel, Estonia, Serbia, Spain, England, Ireland, and New Orleans. I'm not bragging, I'm just saying that none of it is cohesive, and one picture involves a cat.
  • 3 license plants: Colorado, Montana, and Eckerd College class of 2008. 
  • Mini replicas of iconic landmarks scattered around any shelf space, including The Coliseum, the Eiffel Tower, the Space Needle, Big Ben, Tower Bridge, a pyramid, the Washington Monument, and the Statue of Liberty. I bought most of these in Vegas.
  • A 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics poster. That was fun.
  • A Spanish flag. Hola.
  • Coffee mugs from my travels that I don't want to risk breaking by using them for their actual purpose, coffee.
  • A Miranda Sings bobblehead.
  • A Tampa Bay Buccaneers lamp, circa 1997. It still turns on.

Half a glimpse of the disaster zone.

At least this half makes me look a little smarter.

I need to move and start over.

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