In the Land of St. Patrick!

Top of the muffin to you! The Cackling Hen survived its first St. Patrick's Day just a Blarney Stone's throw away from the land of Patrick. Living in the U.S., I knew that St. Patty's day has traditionally been a debaucherous day with green liquids flowing, and suddenly everyone is Irish. But I didn't know if that was a global tradition, or something warped by Americans. This year, I learned what St. Patty's day is like in Nottingham, England.

Putting the "Happy" in St. Patrick's Day.

Festive.

Irish.

I joined a flock on hen friends at noon to start the day at a traditional Irish restaurant: Hooters. I was elated to be at a restaurant founded by a bird. We ordered a smorgasbord of fried appetizers and pitchers of American beer. I silently detested anyone eating chicken wings, but in the spirit of the holiday, I kept my beak shut and put my attention to the loaded tater tots. But surrounded by unhealthy food, beer, and good hen friends, I was loving life. After 30 minutes of gorging on tots and fried pickles, I was still loving life, but having trouble breathing and moving.

'Ello, Irrelevance!

I had a good run riding on the coat tails of a grumpy cat, but it's back to reality for The Cackling Hen. I can only gain so many followers from doing nothing more than clicking a button, so it's back to writing for this little bird. Sure, I wrote about Estonia in award-winning fashion, but Tallinn doesn't have the same draw as an angry kitty. Maybe one day it will.

Inspired by the events of the Winter Olympics in Sochi, I wanted to stir the pot with cackles instead of a spoon. I had plenty of opinions on the figure skating events, so I chose to write a letter to Ashley Wagner. Her sour reaction to her scores froze in time in meme form. I thanked her for the new meme, but also had my two cents on her bold presence at the games. Unfortunately, it's hard to type with wings, so plenty of birds clucked their thoughts before mine. Now it's March and #AshleyWagner is irrelevant. Sorry, Ashley, but thanks for the face.

A Hidden Gem!

Door to...?

Winter isn't an easy time for most of us hens. We are only born with so many feathers, and the charm of snow and 4 p.m. sunsets wears off quickly come January. I fluttered to Florida years ago to avoid true winters most of us experience. Then my employment with Hens on Ice flew onto the scene, telling me in fine print that we'd be going to cold places in winter...very cold places.

This year's tour has taken us to the definition of cold winters: Scandinavia. I mentally prepared for the worst once we bid "arrivederci" to Italy in November. I envisioned tears, tantrums, frozen limbs, and possibly a stay in the psych ward. Thankfully, I couldn't find the psych ward on Google maps, so I've just dealt with the other three. Although it is still winter and we didn't take a sudden detour to the Caribbean, we found a true hidden gem just a ferry away from Finland: Estonia.

The Cat That Changed My Life

The past 24 hours have been a whirlwind of feathers and tequila shots for The Cackling Hen! I'm not talking about a typical Wednesday night at an unmarked bar or the Olympics. I've apparently caught a virus - a twinge of that popular Internet virus that makes stupid things popular for 15 minutes. I think I'm viral, going viral, or just have the flu. Regardless, I have to peck about it before that dreaded 16th minute.

In honor of Facebook's 10th birthday, it's given us a present: a one-minute video recapping some of our Facebook postings. Some turned out decently, reminding us of a few fond memories of pictures with friends or status updates friends claimed they liked. Some turned out random, boring, or stupid, depending on how one feels about photos of lobster tanks or cupcakes trumping graduation pics. Either way, my newsfeed was filled with everyone's one-minute life story. That was overwhelming.

In the midst of stories and people complaining about the stories, an amazing little cat flew onto the scene to articulate what many of us were thinking. Even if we weren't thinking it, it was hilarious.

Up Late With One Direction! The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Traveling to a different city each week and performing in ice skates and silly costumes, it can be easy to lose track of what is truly important. When I saw that One Direction released its latest music video for "Midnight Memories," it was a wakeup call for this hen. While I've been writing about the cold and expense of Scandinavia, or not writing at all due to vitamin D deficiency, I've been overlooking pop music and my installations of "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly."Priorities straightened, I've pecked out my 2 cents on 1D's latest. Watch the video then read about the good, the bad, and the ugly!

Ay, Krona! The Hen's Guide to Surviving Sweden

Surviving.

Hens on Ice has flown to Sweden! I was nervous to venture here in January, knowing that harsh winters turn me into an angry bird. But peck on wood, my feathers have survived the cold thus far and Old Man Winter has been gentle for Scandinavian standards. But far worse than cold, dark days here is the cruel, frigid currency called the krona. For the US dollar user, there has been nothing kind about the krona to dollar conversion rate. Sweden is more than Ikea and meatballs - it's expensive!

After spending $22 on a chimichanga, I vowed there had to be a better way. At that rate, I was a few chimichangas away from blowing my paycheck in 48 hours. As I've spent more time in Sweden, I've compiled some tips on surviving the krona on a US dollar paycheck.

2013 - I Did Things

As a new year without a foreseen apocalypse approaches, people around the world are making lists of resolutions that they'll do until they become mildly inconvenient in mid-January. There are always the exceptions of resolutions that survive the winter and help change our lives for the better, but whatever the result, it's always good to have goals to better ourselves. If nothing else, we at least get a year older.

Last year, I was ambitious and inspired after our world didn't implode, so I made a list of resolutions for 2013.  Without a silly omen to worry about this year, I am less inspired to make a list of resolutions for 2014. But since last year's article was mildly popular, I thought I'd reflect on my ambitions for 2013 and see how successful I was. If I didn't fulfill them, I'll make note of something I did instead. I at least got out of bed 365 times and things happened.

The World's Most Brilliant Airport

Give me a window seat!

I used to think I liked traveling. I've told people this many times. But now that I travel weekly with Hens on Ice, I've learned that I really just like seeing new places. The act of traveling from point A to B typically makes me want to pull out all my feathers and/or cry. But arriving in Stockholm, Sweden today after some cackles and cries, I witnessed something amazing I never thought I'd be alive to see.

I've observed many common behaviors in people brought out through traveling. After being through countless airports, my patience for poor travel etiquette and behavior is at zero. We turn into a different breed at airports. Suddenly, people are either aggressive, rude, and impatient, or they act as if they have no concept of how an airport functions. I want all these people out of my way because I want to get to point B so I can say I like traveling.

Pecking Away the Glam Part II: Hotel Life

Honey, we're home!

On my 3rd tour with Hens on Ice (who's counting?), hotel rooms are my home for the majority of the year. Most hotels strive to make our stay as comfortable as possible, giving us as much of a homey feeling away from home as possible. While hotels are a treat for vacations, it's a different feeling when they are my new, temporary home each week. While there are some perks, like no yard work and no pets and grandparents to feed, some hotel quirks have gotten under my feathers. Before I hen flap hotel staff, I'll just share some less glamorous moments of hotel life here.

Beach Day in Polandia

Come December, much of the world is cold, dreary, and possibly snowing. Florida is one exception in the U.S. where it cools down, but it's usually still warm enough to go the beach. Typical Florida "humor" is sadistically rubbing it in everyone's faces by taking selfies at the beach tagged, "Beach in December!" like it's a novel event. It's nothing new in Florida, but it really pisses off all friends and family not in Florida. "Jealous!" really means "Fuck you, I'm blocking your social media posts in winter months."

I moved coups to Florida to escape winter forever and to "get an education." When I finished learning, I got a traveling job. (Calm down, I know one never finishes learning or paying Sallie Mae loans.) Nowhere in my contract did I sign up for winter climates, but my feathers are back to enduring winters.