Beach Day in Polandia

Come December, much of the world is cold, dreary, and possibly snowing. Florida is one exception in the U.S. where it cools down, but it's usually still warm enough to go the beach. Typical Florida "humor" is sadistically rubbing it in everyone's faces by taking selfies at the beach tagged, "Beach in December!" like it's a novel event. It's nothing new in Florida, but it really pisses off all friends and family not in Florida. "Jealous!" really means "Fuck you, I'm blocking your social media posts in winter months."

I moved coups to Florida to escape winter forever and to "get an education." When I finished learning, I got a traveling job. (Calm down, I know one never finishes learning or paying Sallie Mae loans.) Nowhere in my contract did I sign up for winter climates, but my feathers are back to enduring winters.

Bird Overboard!

During the cold winter months (or month in Florida) we look ahead to the warm summer sunshine, summer vacations and an excuse to cook hot dogs on the grill once a week. Then summer comes and it's time to beat the heat in any way possible (aside from not grilling - there are hot dogs to cook!). Since air conditioning doesn't help a tan and Snooki's orange skin reminds us the risks of tanning beds, one vacation option seems perfect to punch this summer heat right in the face while enjoying it at the same time: a summer cruise!

All aboard The Hen's first cruise! It began the same way it ended - enjoying one of many buffets. Time to peck your money's worth out of every meal. But with unlimited dining 24/7 at sea, there's a fine line between pecking your money's worth and puking your money's worth - especially through a tropical storm. Thankfully everything seemed to stay down except some girls' skirts.