December 15, 2013

Beach Day in Polandia

Come December, much of the world is cold, dreary, and possibly snowing. Florida is one exception in the U.S. where it cools down, but it's usually still warm enough to go the beach. Typical Florida "humor" is sadistically rubbing it in everyone's faces by taking selfies at the beach tagged, "Beach in December!" like it's a novel event. It's nothing new in Florida, but it really pisses off all friends and family not in Florida. "Jealous!" really means "Fuck you, I'm blocking your social media posts in winter months."

I moved coups to Florida to escape winter forever and to "get an education." When I finished learning, I got a traveling job. (Calm down, I know one never finishes learning or paying Sallie Mae loans.) Nowhere in my contract did I sign up for winter climates, but my feathers are back to enduring winters.

I've learned many things traveling with Hens on Ice. One recent fun fact - Poland has a beach! On our day off in Gdansk, I spent a day at the beach to prove to my Florida friends and fans that Floridians aren't the only ones who can enjoy a beach day in December.

I put on my sunblock. I think I only got a little burned, unless it's frostbite.


All the hens were out

Workin' on my fitness

After sunbathing with some locals, I strolled down the beach and found what looked like some outdoor fitness equipment. No one else was working out, but what else would it be? Outdoor fitness is all the rage in Florida. I took a peck at working out, but I got tired and the local birds were looking at me like an odd duck, so I wondered off. Maybe it was really the remains of a dock.

Tired from the workout, I needed to relax. It was probably going to get busy soon, so I needed to hunt out a beach chair. Thankfully, I fluttered upon a beach resort. They must have been closed for afternoon siesta hour, because no one was there and it was fenced off. I waited for a while, but was feeling faint, so I flew over the fence to nab the last beach chair. It was really my day! While I didn't see anyone return, I assume they just wanted me to rest in peace.

Fought for the last beach chair

After enjoying the private beach resort, I searched for seashells and a cold drink. The resort was so private that it didn't even open the bar. I found a boat company and was in the mood for a nice afternoon cruise; maybe they'd have tropical drinks. No one was in the boat or anywhere near it, so I waited for someone to return from what I assumed to still be afternoon siesta hour. While I waited, it got dark. I checked my watch since it must have been off. It wasn't. It was 3:30 p.m., but I'd had enough sun anyway.


With no afternoon/midnight cruise and tired from outdoor fitness, I fluttered home after a full beach day, just like the ones I love in Florida. Sure, the day was a few hours shorter and none of my friends met me due to the "windchill" or that I was "insane," but I had a lovely day tromping through the Baltic Sea coast.

I hope all the smug Floridians now know they aren't the only ones who can enjoy a beach day in the "winter." It may be a little different in other parts of the world, but that's okay. Enjoy your cruises, friends, and double-digit temperatures, Florida, but Poland has a beach, too.

Read more! I went to another Eastern European land: Serbia. 

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