New Miley Cyrus! The... the Bad and the Ugly

Miley Cyrus is back with new music! In spite of the criticism she gets, she's put out some catchy pop songs and I was eager to hear her latest. Sure, she's not Hannah Montana anymore, but that's fine with me. Pop stars always sound a little less like chipmunks when they get off the Disney Channel. Her last album, Can't Be Tamed, caught some flack for being too mature, too provocative, or too slutty for a girl her age. But now releasing the We Can't Stop single for Lord only knows what kind of album, it makes all of Can't Be Tamed seem tame enough for the preschool.

Normally I recommend watching the music video at hand if you haven't already, but I can't do that in good conscience. I'll put links to both the video and just the audio of the new song. I endorse listening to the audio quietly while reading this. Watch the video at your own risk.

New Cher! The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Cher is back on The Hen's pecking block, but this time it isn't because of her ludicrous tweets. I tuned in to The Voice finale last night with the promise of big names performing. With Cher's name at the end of the list, I couldn't miss seeing what spectacle the old powerhouse would bring. And a spectacle it was! Check out the performance below if you missed it.

New Britney! The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

As summer blazes on, this Monday started with a bang in the music world. Britney Spears is at it again. But her new single isn't the lead for her new album. Instead, it's the lead song on a highly-coveted summer movie soundtrack: The Smurfs 2. The Cackling Hen dropped everything, saving the mess for later, and suffered through droll morning radio conversation to hear the track first. Here are The Hen's thoughts on "Ooh La La." If you haven't heard the new Spears song, listen first below!

Weird Things In My Coop Part II

As I become less motivated to keep cleaning my coup, I continue to find bizarre items that inspire me to continue. I've had a few minor breakdowns as tasks that should take minutes take days, but these odd gems are the seeds that keep me pecking for more. Here are a few more of my serendipitous finds.

1. Perfil Magazine's May 2011 issue. I have a feeling a few of you may not be familiar with Perfil, Tucson, Arizona's publication highlighting the Hispanic community's (Okay, the whole city's) events through glossy photos. The magazine is written in Spanish and highlights quincineras, birthday parties, and Cinco de Mayo. It's yearbook style, with photo after photo of big groups wearing all sorts of colorful outfits that scream, "fiesta!" But since I haven't been to Arizona since 2008, I have no idea how Perfil meandered its way to one of my drawers in Florida. Now I want to crash a quincinera.

I Make Rash Decisions

Ew.

After a bender beach weekend with dear friends, a wedding, and more Germans than I'd ever met, I had to return to the reality of my work and temporary unemployment. My hen friend and I had one more fine dining experience in St. Petersburg (Florida) at a gem called Kissin' Cuzzins before I had to flap out of my hangover and hit the road.

I had noticed when I woke up that morning before Kissin' Cuzzins that a minor skin irritation I'd ignored since the final weeks of tour had catapulted into a full-on rash of some variety. And since this rash now hurt, altering my walk and how I put on my underwear, I decided it was time to take full advantage of my health insurance and see a doctor. I had only used my insurance for beak cleanings before, so I was eager to see how good (or bad) my coverage was, and get a glimpse of the American health care system in the heart of Florida.

Weird Things In My Coop Part I

Who the hell are you?

The Hens of Ice tour may be finished, but The Cackling Hen never stops flapping its wings. Since returning home, I've been busy getting lost going to the dentist and avoiding unpacking. I at least had the perfect excuse not to unpack - there was physically no space in my room (or the guest bedroom) for my two suitcases of life. Who's been living here while I've been away?! But as fun as it was last night to need a running start to jump over the piles of crap barricading my bed, I vowed it would be the last night I got a mild concussion before sleeping (what looked like a bed turned out to be a desk). It's time for serious spring cleaning, reorganizing, decluttering and donating in this Florida coup!

Maybe it's the fact that I've never cleaned in the spring before, or maybe it's the pot of coffee I drank all day, but I'm buzzed about this spring cleaning and the eventual result of peaceful, spacious living. I don't think spring cleaning will lose the noisy roommates or cats, but one step at a time. And in the midst of scouring every corner of my coup, I've found some bizarre things I forgot I owned, don't need in my coup, or both.

Pros and Cons of a Nine-Month Tour

Last night was our Hens on Ice closing night party. While we still have a week of shows ahead of us, we celebrated like we didn't. And while the fatigue of a nine-month tour kicked in eight months ago, any soreness, bitterness or suppressed disorders got checked at the door with out coats. Okay, we didn't wear coats.

Seeing everyone together dressed nicely and enjoying themselves made me nostalgic over this seemingly endless tour. Sure, we've endured many rough patches along the way, but we got through them together. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so I've felt strong enough to avoid the gym this year. It's been an emotional roller coaster, so I decided to look back at the pros and cons of a nine month tour.

#Selfie Overload!

It's been a busy few weeks of work and cackle block, but I'm back with a fresh peck at one nasty side effect of social media: self pictures, or "selfies." There was a healthier time when we all just hated pictures of ourselves, so what happened to that?

When I'm doing research on the internet and looking for Grumpy Cat memes, I don't want to see pictures of my "friends" in a bathroom mirror, acting natural - shirtless and making a duck face.  Facebook's name alone suggests I will see a lot of faces when I log on, but I miss the days of more faces with friends and less pouty, pensive faces alone in a dark room...or the car. That can't be safe at 70 miles per hour.

Putting the "Me" in Team

Voting for The Blog Exchange contest is over and thank goodness. While it was a great contest to enter and I hope the judges miraculously choose this hen as a wildcard (I've been called both "wild" and "a card"), I can now get back to business as usual for The Cackling Hen. We'll be back to regular hen promotion instead of daily "vote for me or else" promotion, and that's a big weight off my feathers.

Probably Hen fans.

Since I was close in the running and I have the best following (forget Beliebers!), I knew I had a chance at getting the votes if I spread the word effectively. But although it's free, quick, and not one voter complained (yet), there are only so many creative ways to say "vote for me right now" before it comes across as "EVERYONE NEEDS TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" And while clearly everyone should pay attention to The Cackling Hen, I don't want it to come across that way.

Same-Hen Marriage

Let's move on.

"Marriage equality." "Same-sex marriage." "Gay marriage." "Grumpy cat memes." All these terms have been thrown around incessantly as the Supreme Court debates on California's Prop. 8, which banned same-sex marriage (but thankfully not grumpy cats) in the state. Since it's such a hot-button issue and I
hate being cold, here's a peck at the matter from The Hen.

As a reasonably educated hen, this heavy debate involving the government, religion, gay rights, human rights and grumpy cats doesn't make much sense. As much as I love warm temperatures, it's gotten far too heated for my liking. The issue of same-sex marriage doesn't personally affect the vast majority of Americans, so why do so many hens have their feathers beyond ruffled?