Ay, Krona! The Hen's Guide to Surviving Sweden

Surviving.

Hens on Ice has flown to Sweden! I was nervous to venture here in January, knowing that harsh winters turn me into an angry bird. But peck on wood, my feathers have survived the cold thus far and Old Man Winter has been gentle for Scandinavian standards. But far worse than cold, dark days here is the cruel, frigid currency called the krona. For the US dollar user, there has been nothing kind about the krona to dollar conversion rate. Sweden is more than Ikea and meatballs - it's expensive!

After spending $22 on a chimichanga, I vowed there had to be a better way. At that rate, I was a few chimichangas away from blowing my paycheck in 48 hours. As I've spent more time in Sweden, I've compiled some tips on surviving the krona on a US dollar paycheck.

2013 - I Did Things

As a new year without a foreseen apocalypse approaches, people around the world are making lists of resolutions that they'll do until they become mildly inconvenient in mid-January. There are always the exceptions of resolutions that survive the winter and help change our lives for the better, but whatever the result, it's always good to have goals to better ourselves. If nothing else, we at least get a year older.

Last year, I was ambitious and inspired after our world didn't implode, so I made a list of resolutions for 2013.  Without a silly omen to worry about this year, I am less inspired to make a list of resolutions for 2014. But since last year's article was mildly popular, I thought I'd reflect on my ambitions for 2013 and see how successful I was. If I didn't fulfill them, I'll make note of something I did instead. I at least got out of bed 365 times and things happened.

The World's Most Brilliant Airport

Give me a window seat!

I used to think I liked traveling. I've told people this many times. But now that I travel weekly with Hens on Ice, I've learned that I really just like seeing new places. The act of traveling from point A to B typically makes me want to pull out all my feathers and/or cry. But arriving in Stockholm, Sweden today after some cackles and cries, I witnessed something amazing I never thought I'd be alive to see.

I've observed many common behaviors in people brought out through traveling. After being through countless airports, my patience for poor travel etiquette and behavior is at zero. We turn into a different breed at airports. Suddenly, people are either aggressive, rude, and impatient, or they act as if they have no concept of how an airport functions. I want all these people out of my way because I want to get to point B so I can say I like traveling.

Pecking Away the Glam Part II: Hotel Life

Honey, we're home!

On my 3rd tour with Hens on Ice (who's counting?), hotel rooms are my home for the majority of the year. Most hotels strive to make our stay as comfortable as possible, giving us as much of a homey feeling away from home as possible. While hotels are a treat for vacations, it's a different feeling when they are my new, temporary home each week. While there are some perks, like no yard work and no pets and grandparents to feed, some hotel quirks have gotten under my feathers. Before I hen flap hotel staff, I'll just share some less glamorous moments of hotel life here.

Beach Day in Polandia

Come December, much of the world is cold, dreary, and possibly snowing. Florida is one exception in the U.S. where it cools down, but it's usually still warm enough to go the beach. Typical Florida "humor" is sadistically rubbing it in everyone's faces by taking selfies at the beach tagged, "Beach in December!" like it's a novel event. It's nothing new in Florida, but it really pisses off all friends and family not in Florida. "Jealous!" really means "Fuck you, I'm blocking your social media posts in winter months."

I moved coups to Florida to escape winter forever and to "get an education." When I finished learning, I got a traveling job. (Calm down, I know one never finishes learning or paying Sallie Mae loans.) Nowhere in my contract did I sign up for winter climates, but my feathers are back to enduring winters.

Serbian Hospitality Part I

Adventures with Hens on Ice often take odd turns. We go to destinations from Paris and London to Erie and Evansville, and everywhere in between. Somewhere in the midst of that gamut is Belgrade, Serbia. This is a part of the world I never thought I'd have a reason to visit, and I thought Yugoslavia still existed. But given a ticket and a purpose, I'm glad I've been able to experience this land.

Where's the show?

With only stereotypes of Eastern Europe and outdated geography in my mind, I had very little idea of what to expect. I pictured grey. I pictured cold. I pictured stern faces, and I pictured Yugoslavia still being a thing. Sure, there are still plenty of grey buildings and a few grey faces, but Serbia has been filled with many pleasant surprises. They can't fit in just one Hen article, so I'll start with a truly local experience: the hospitality at McDonald's.

A Silenced Cackle: A Little Tribute to Dr. Bob Dardenne

My advisor and professor in my graduate program would tell me how much he loved The Cutting Edge movies in every one-on-one conversation we had, and how they were his favorite movies. With such a dry sense of humor and being such an experienced journalist and professor, I never knew if he was being serious, sarcastic, or somewhere in between. I'm deeply saddened to know that I now will never know the answer for sure with his sudden and shocking passing. But talking about The Cutting Edge with Dr. Dardenne when I really needed legitimate help will always be one of many fond memories from the unique USFSP Journalism and Media Studies graduate program experience. Some fun facts and memories of Bob Dardenne:

My Moral Dilemma at Best Buy

I love a moral shutdown.

For many of us, life is a constant battle of morality and values, forming one's standards and trying to fit in as a good hen in this world. For others, life is standing up for one's political party until the government shuts down. Since I am one of the former hens, I am constantly faced with decisions that challenge my moral code and threaten my popularity on social media. These dilemmas can arise at anytime, even on a casual shopping trip to Best Buy.

Since buying a new camera this summer, I've had a $20 gift card for Best Buy. I figured this would be easy to spend since the store is loaded with music, movies, electronics, and refrigerators - some of my favorite items to buy. Instead of spending it immediately on something shameful like Jersey Shore DVDs, I saved it for when I knew exactly what I wanted.

Shalom! Part III - Keepin' It IsRael

Hebrew and Judaism aside, there were many moments while in Israel when culture shock grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a hard shake. It's so valuable to experience cultures outside of our own so we can both learn about a foreign culture and reflect on our own. Even when being shushed in the hotel lobby bar or walking away from a restaurant because I couldn't read a thing, I reminded myself, this is so valuable, this is so valuable... 

Some of my odd experiences were amazing moments that I'll always cherish. Others made me want to curl up, cry, and teleport back to the comfort and gluttony of Florida. Much of my time fell somewhere in between the two. Here are a few select, distinct Israel experiences.

Britney's Solid Advice: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!

It's Britney, bitch! She's back, uncensored, and wise. In Britney's new single and video, she has solid advice for anyone who will listen. Basically, she reminds us that we need to work hard for anything we want in life. But her lyrics are more inspirational than my paraphrasing, so check out the new video, and the good, the bad, and the ugly!