Hello, Kitty. Goodbye, Avril. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

This is the first (and last) Hen article on Avril Lavigne, but with a "song" like "Hello Kitty" that's creating a buzz for being terrible, there is far too much to peck to resist. And I like cats. So back by unpopular demand, here is The Hen's "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" for Avril Lavigne's "Hello Kitty."

The End of Groundhog Day

The ice is melting.

Once again, we are ending a Hens on Ice tour. We know it will end when we receive our contracts, but after a while, the rhythm of routine is so powerful that it can't seem possible it will stop. "Bittersweet" is the perfect word to describe the end of tour. But one word doesn't fill a Hen article, so I'll write about
some of the reasons it's best that we wake up from this Groundhog Day and end this long portion of the tour.

Driving In Opposite Land

One of Northern Ireland's most famous sites is Giant's Causeway, a breathtaking coastal area of sea cliffs and unique rock formations. I visited the grand spot two Hens on Ice tours ago and wanted to return. In lieu of taking a mega bus tour plowing through the countryside, many of us discussed renting cars to get there. I pictured the movies, the charm of laughing our way through the rolling hills with the intimacy and comfort of a car. When the question arose of who would actually drive these little manual cars on the left side of the road, I let my friends know I could drive manual if needed. Surely, there'd be enough Brits to drive, but maybe it would come in handy if someone needed a nap or got drunk.

Let's go!

Fast forward to an unforeseen complication with a hen friend's license, and my causal offer turned into this bird renting his first car in opposite land. Cars drive on the left side of the road, the driver's seat is on the right, and I have to shift gears with my left hand. "Giant's Causeway or bust!" could really go either way.

I was excited for many things: spending a day with good friends, seeing beautiful sights, and having my first experience driving on the opposite side of the road. But as I smiled and laughed through gritted teeth getting into the car, I was also slightly terrified to go against all that had been engrained in me when it comes to driving for the past 12 years (I learned to drive in elementary school). But thankfully the car rate included full damage protection. The question wasn't "if" I was going to hit something, but rather "what."

We put the unruly Brit in the front to help guide and keep me on the left, and after a few 3-point turns, we were flying!

I'm Just a Fool

April already?!

It's April Fools' Day and time for The Cackling Hen's second annual foolish article! For those of you muttering that there have been far more than two, you're missing the point. You aren't wrong, but let's focus on April Fools' Day.

This odd "holiday" snuck up on me like a fox in the coop. Last year, I shared two of my most memorable April Fools' Days where I was the fool. This year, I only realized it was April 1 at midnight, leaving little planning for good pranks. Isn't it still February?

I fretted that I'd have nothing to say this year after recapping the only two April Fools' Days I could remember. But I knew I was obligated to write something today, just like I have to give my mother a card on Mothers' Day. Unfortunately I can't get a Hen article at Hallmark. But luckily I can be a gullible bird and I got duped before my daily bird bath.

In the Land of St. Patrick!

Top of the muffin to you! The Cackling Hen survived its first St. Patrick's Day just a Blarney Stone's throw away from the land of Patrick. Living in the U.S., I knew that St. Patty's day has traditionally been a debaucherous day with green liquids flowing, and suddenly everyone is Irish. But I didn't know if that was a global tradition, or something warped by Americans. This year, I learned what St. Patty's day is like in Nottingham, England.

Putting the "Happy" in St. Patrick's Day.

Festive.

Irish.

I joined a flock on hen friends at noon to start the day at a traditional Irish restaurant: Hooters. I was elated to be at a restaurant founded by a bird. We ordered a smorgasbord of fried appetizers and pitchers of American beer. I silently detested anyone eating chicken wings, but in the spirit of the holiday, I kept my beak shut and put my attention to the loaded tater tots. But surrounded by unhealthy food, beer, and good hen friends, I was loving life. After 30 minutes of gorging on tots and fried pickles, I was still loving life, but having trouble breathing and moving.

'Ello, Irrelevance!

I had a good run riding on the coat tails of a grumpy cat, but it's back to reality for The Cackling Hen. I can only gain so many followers from doing nothing more than clicking a button, so it's back to writing for this little bird. Sure, I wrote about Estonia in award-winning fashion, but Tallinn doesn't have the same draw as an angry kitty. Maybe one day it will.

Inspired by the events of the Winter Olympics in Sochi, I wanted to stir the pot with cackles instead of a spoon. I had plenty of opinions on the figure skating events, so I chose to write a letter to Ashley Wagner. Her sour reaction to her scores froze in time in meme form. I thanked her for the new meme, but also had my two cents on her bold presence at the games. Unfortunately, it's hard to type with wings, so plenty of birds clucked their thoughts before mine. Now it's March and #AshleyWagner is irrelevant. Sorry, Ashley, but thanks for the face.

A Hidden Gem!

Door to...?

Winter isn't an easy time for most of us hens. We are only born with so many feathers, and the charm of snow and 4 p.m. sunsets wears off quickly come January. I fluttered to Florida years ago to avoid true winters most of us experience. Then my employment with Hens on Ice flew onto the scene, telling me in fine print that we'd be going to cold places in winter...very cold places.

This year's tour has taken us to the definition of cold winters: Scandinavia. I mentally prepared for the worst once we bid "arrivederci" to Italy in November. I envisioned tears, tantrums, frozen limbs, and possibly a stay in the psych ward. Thankfully, I couldn't find the psych ward on Google maps, so I've just dealt with the other three. Although it is still winter and we didn't take a sudden detour to the Caribbean, we found a true hidden gem just a ferry away from Finland: Estonia.

The Cat That Changed My Life

The past 24 hours have been a whirlwind of feathers and tequila shots for The Cackling Hen! I'm not talking about a typical Wednesday night at an unmarked bar or the Olympics. I've apparently caught a virus - a twinge of that popular Internet virus that makes stupid things popular for 15 minutes. I think I'm viral, going viral, or just have the flu. Regardless, I have to peck about it before that dreaded 16th minute.

In honor of Facebook's 10th birthday, it's given us a present: a one-minute video recapping some of our Facebook postings. Some turned out decently, reminding us of a few fond memories of pictures with friends or status updates friends claimed they liked. Some turned out random, boring, or stupid, depending on how one feels about photos of lobster tanks or cupcakes trumping graduation pics. Either way, my newsfeed was filled with everyone's one-minute life story. That was overwhelming.

In the midst of stories and people complaining about the stories, an amazing little cat flew onto the scene to articulate what many of us were thinking. Even if we weren't thinking it, it was hilarious.

Up Late With One Direction! The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Traveling to a different city each week and performing in ice skates and silly costumes, it can be easy to lose track of what is truly important. When I saw that One Direction released its latest music video for "Midnight Memories," it was a wakeup call for this hen. While I've been writing about the cold and expense of Scandinavia, or not writing at all due to vitamin D deficiency, I've been overlooking pop music and my installations of "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly."Priorities straightened, I've pecked out my 2 cents on 1D's latest. Watch the video then read about the good, the bad, and the ugly!

Ay, Krona! The Hen's Guide to Surviving Sweden

Surviving.

Hens on Ice has flown to Sweden! I was nervous to venture here in January, knowing that harsh winters turn me into an angry bird. But peck on wood, my feathers have survived the cold thus far and Old Man Winter has been gentle for Scandinavian standards. But far worse than cold, dark days here is the cruel, frigid currency called the krona. For the US dollar user, there has been nothing kind about the krona to dollar conversion rate. Sweden is more than Ikea and meatballs - it's expensive!

After spending $22 on a chimichanga, I vowed there had to be a better way. At that rate, I was a few chimichangas away from blowing my paycheck in 48 hours. As I've spent more time in Sweden, I've compiled some tips on surviving the krona on a US dollar paycheck.