Good Coffee Gone Bad.

My last few articles have clucked about some important life events: quitting a terrible job, running for president, and what I want for Christmas. While quitting my job created a mild stir, I got nothing I wanted for Christmas and I'm still not president. So I'm taking this bird back to its roots of clucking about more trivial, annoying things. Today, I bring you my cautionary tale of a coffee drink to avoid.

Like a young, normal chick, I went to a friend's party Saturday night. These days, my social plans consist of happy hours or "none." So when this party started after dark, I wanted a little energy boost for my drive. I chose coffee over beer for the cupholder, and begin my journey.

#FirstWorldProblems

Since assessing how embarrassing my room decor is, I'm home again to the embarrassment after a Hens on Ice rehearsal period. It's always nice to get out of a hotel room and enjoy the comforts of the coop. That is, when those comforts work. As much as I hate leaking hotel room toilets, busted faucets, and sensitive smoke alarms that detect my indoor smoking habit, at least the front desk or fire department will send someone to fix the problem. At home, my parents either cope or don't notice the problems, and they don't like when I call them at work with complaints. These household problems may be trivial and the epitome of "first world problems," but they still piss me off and long for a hotel repairman.

Double the Decaf

I don't follow.

There are two different kinds of things I do not understand. There are those things that we don't know, but we can learn after a chat with our friends and family, turning on the TV or searching trusted online sources, like Wikipedia and Google. Then there are those things I've accepted I will never understand, such as why a Big Bird killer is in the running for president and why decaffeinated coffee exists. Since my absentee ballot for Big Bird is in the mail, I'll peck decaf.