December 31, 2012

Embarrassment Behind the Ice

How do I skate in this thing?

After letting a few days pass to regain my composure, self esteem and some extra feathers, I will share my most embarrassing accident to date. I realized I should capitalize off my suffering instead of suffering silently by myself. Thank God for the internet. My incident had no witnesses, but now the world can laugh at my expense. Go easy on me, I'm poor.

It all started as the usual scene between shows: me eating something and then trying to decide 30 minutes later if I'm still hungry and if I'd eaten enough to survive another show. After eating a mini pizza, I decided I needed more carbs before going into the show, where I'd play the head sergeant of the green army boy toys in addition to my usual roles. This is as close to participating in the army as I'll probably ever get, so I at least wanted my blood sugar to be up.

Not easy enough.
I opted for Easy Mac - easy, filling, great. But I learned the name is deceiving, even after making it (too) many times prior. After cooking the pasta and water for three and a half minutes in the microwave, I pulled out the steamy plastic bowl. I put it on the table and mixed in the orange power that somehow turns into cheese. I noticed it seemed a little watery after mixing and rolled my eyes a bit. I'd added water precisely to that fill line!

I wish that's where the trouble ended. I picked up the bowl, only for it to slip out of my hand, bounce onto the table upright, and splatter scalding, watery cheese and noodles onto my face, hands and clothes. I screamed as the Easy Mac sauce both burned my face and hands, but also went into my eyes and nose. I stood frozen for a moment surrounded by the cheese sauce, which had also splattered on the table and floor with some rogue noodles.

After the initial shock, I grabbed nearby napkins and gently patted the cheese burning my skin to avoid messing up my makeup. I guess Hens on Ice has gotten to my head since my initial reaction was to maintain my make up instead of properly addressing my second degree burns. I then gave my burnt face a rest and tired to sop up the spilled cheese from the table and floor. No amount of napkins seemed to make a dent in the orange slop. How the hell did so much cheese fit in that single serving cup? There was enough to burn my face, burn my hands, soak over a pack of napkins, and still the cup was nearly full with macaroni and cheese.

Cheese everywhere. 

Since I was ill-prepared to handle the situation rationally, thank goodness my friend, Sam, stumbled into the scene and came to rescue. She got me burn cream and convinced me to go to the washroom (that's Canadian for restroom) and properly clean the burning cheese off my face and out of my nose. And after the situation seemed under control, I took a bite of the mac and cheese and burned the roof of my mouth.

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