June 1, 2012

A Day in the Office

What is this crap?
When I returned home for a break from Hens on Ice, I had lofty but seemingly reasonable goals and tasks for my free time. I would only work two days a week part time, so I'd have plenty of time to tackle those boxes in the garage, finish that Lady Gaga-inspired painting and write the next great American novel. But now after over a month at home, the boxes have a year layer of dust, the painting canvas has been dry since 2011 and that novel has a long way to go. Now is the time to publicly address my problem and see where I've gone wrong so that book hits the shelves and that painting hits my wall. The boxes can wait.

It's always easier to point the finger at others and inanimate objects than fully accepting blame and responsibility. So here starts my finger pointing to why I am always doing something but never finishing anything.

1. No deadlines. I spent two years in a master's program for journalism, which was filled with lots of writing and deadline after deadline. Sure, I wanted to pull my hair out when there were 12 hours until that final Media Law research paper was due, but I still finished the paper and turned it in early: one hour before the professor retired. Now that my projects around the house and life goals don't have that strict deadline, what is getting me out of bed in the morning? It sure isn't that alarm that has the worn out snooze button. Then it's 11:00 a.m. and breakfast turns into lunch, today's goal turns into tomorrow's, and now it's dark and time to go to bed. Where'd the day go?

They're not cute kittens, but they'll do.
2. YouTube. It starts innocent enough. Marla posted a video of baby ducks on my Facebook wall, and Juan found a boy band doing a Britney Spears cover. Then there are the related videos - baby emus chasing a baby?! Britney Spears doing a cover of One Direction?! The cast of Smash singing all of Britney and 1D's hits?! Now I'm frantically searching for a video of Britney chasing baby ducks or One Direction getting smashed. That quick five-minute internet check turned into three hours of YouTubing pop music acts and baby animals. Now it's dark outside again and I've forgotten anything I meant to do. It's time for bed...or to search if a baby duck ever hopped on stage during a Britney concert.

Why even shower now?
3. Old Christine. The New Adventures of Old Christine is one of my favorite shows and it's a great way to start the day. It used to be on TV from 9:00 to 10:00 a.m., which was perfect for a productive day. When Old Christine was over, I'd jump in the shower, and start my life. Now the Lifetime network has really thrown a fork into my productivity. It moved Christine now to an 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. time block. As much as I try to turn off Christine or busy myself with other things during that time, I can't pry myself away from her desperate, neurotic character. Then it's 1:00 p.m., time for breakfast, which has turned into a late lunch. Then I figure I should enjoy some pool time while it's still sunny outside and before I know it, I'm showering just before dinner after debating for an hour whether it's even worth it at that point. Then it's dark out and I'm full and tired. Crap.

4. Undiagnosed ADD. Once I'm moving and not watching Old Christine, I have all the good ideas and intentions in the world. I need to finish unpacking. I need to update my iPod with new music. I have that bill to pay. I need to call State Farm for insurance quotes. I should clean my room. I have a few e-mails I've been meaning to send. I need to clean out my car's trunk. That painting is still unfinished! And I still haven't showered. There is just so much!

Once I start bustling around the house, I soon find myself standing in the living room, looking around blankly to what I meant to do in there. My suitcase sits open in my room with just a shirt and receipt left in it. My iPod's still dusty but I had pulled out the connecting cord. I picked up my phone, but checked Instagram and Facebook instead of using it as a phone. My room is cluttered as ever. My e-mail is open, but I've been chatting on the Gmail chat. My car's trunk is open outside, flapping in the breeze. I'd put paint brushes on the counter. The bathroom light is on and the water is running.

Being a genius is exhausting.

Once I realize all that I've started, none of which is finished, I see I've left my computer on the kitchen table. I need to move it back to my room...after I do a quick check of the Facebook news feed and find the latest One Direction music video.

Is it still raining, or is it getting dark out?


  1. HAHAHAHAHA I can relate with every single one of these and all of this post!! Love it HEN!